(07-22-2017, 03:21 AM)Tigertail58 Wrote:That is the biggest question. They do help people, and for some, are the only medications that do. I was put on Escitalopram (trying to break the habit of using brand names, per the rules) and Alprazolem originally. The anti-depressant, which is also supposed to be the best SSRI for anxiety, did nothing, but I still take it to keep my doctor happy although she knows that it alone is not enough. My GP will admit to having patients who were put on "Mother's Little Helper," as they called Alprazolam in the 50's-70's, and she allows them to stay on it (at a low dosage) because she is afraid they may fall and break a hip (as an example) if she takes them off of it. My only guess is that due to the highly addictive nature, doctors are now limiting prescriptions. I know that I was doing business out of town and went to a Costco to get a refill and they refused. Apparently, there were several Costcos in the area that the DEA had cited for filling too many Benzo scripts (probably other types of drugs, too) and they were being watched.(07-21-2017, 03:00 PM)cmdline Wrote: Muzicatty your first paragrapgh basically hit a nail on the head spot on how i feel,depressed angry etc,if i could i would just lie in bed most days,sleep is deprived since awake many times at night thus come day even after 10hours of sleep i feel like i could hit bed any time,come night and im boosted with energy and thoughts running trough my head up till 4 in the morning,thus get snappy easily during the day.Okay so in around 30 years ago I found a sympathetic Dr who prescribed diazapam about 20 mg a day for my anxiety, it was very effective for many years but by 24 yrs ago alprazolam was the go to benzo and I have been on about 3 mg a day since then. I have been to the psychiatrists who all want to put you on those antidepressants, I really tried but they just don't work for me. I have a Dr. who writes for lorezapam 2 mg a day but it doesn't work I cannot explain why but it just doesn't so I get my alprazolam from alt sources reluctantly but I would prefer to get it from Walgreens. Why can't the medical profession see us for what many of us are, people suffering from anxiety without relief.
Now dont like sharing on public forum too much but ive never approached any doc in my life about anxiety/panic issues just taboo/ashamed topic.Since after hitting until 18 i brushed off most of the symptoms had good circle of friends social life and it wasn't an issue, high school/college it went down hill just became awkward in social situations, hard to focus on people, becoming agoraphobic in large crowds its like stepping back to being 7 again.
long story short eventually opened up to family, went to counseling which did nothing and hit the internet once i knew what helps with anxiety pretty much away jumped into online and took matters in my own hands, and for first time in life ive managed great for about 5-6 years then as these things go realized im stuck with two issues.Since dont live in states benzos where i am are basically on highest blacklist ER cases,did acquire small amount one time but it was like doc giving me coke it felt for that joke of a blister of 10x0.5 xans.
did try MJ in my years and its great but since its far away from legal you get what you get found it great for sleep but not smth that would work on daily or even weekly basis,thou its only a plant and great to chill when possible.
My cut down is due since im stocking up since im always few months short on supply meaning have always to last me couple months which only makes things harder since you get few weeks break but then you know your pile is running low daily.
also since do contract work whenever i get, so get really stressed so that puts me into situation where i need to up the dosage before i even out, not to mention my family thinks its depression mood swings even thou im past 30 now which is adult stage, since told em years ago but response was get over it, not an option when your brains are wired differently and this $hit runs in the family but relatives cope differently, but its obvious when you see them struggling with simple life tasks,and making it to be like end of the world.
one thing thou that makes me different i knew dangers of going on benzos,now id say its way bigger sacrifice then it seems, but as said alternatives none of them come close.I have respect for people that went to MDs when they first noticed and could, but when im on almost decade been doing it myself its not really and option to seek help even cost wise what i get online seeing any md would be like getting 2 months supply elsewhere minus all the explanations being refereed to handful of psychs etc,seems system is simple if i was shooting up id have no issues getting suboxone or whatever is given to people but with anxiety it seems government thinks meditation is all we need,or better just ignore the issue.Sorry for such rant but thats my story,and until i can help myself on my own terms,seems its only option.
Like you, I know people that have been on various Benzos for decades and it is the only thing that has allowed them to function. The problem is when you are on higher dosages you don't realize how the medication is affecting you. At higher dosages, I have been called out by friends and family members, as well as a former boss. They see a change in my personality that I don't. Also, driving is another issue. I only take my medication at night, but that hasn't stoppped me from hitting the columns outside of my garage or driving over medians the next day. Fortunately, I have never hit another driver, but it's always in the back of my mind that it could happen.
The liability for doctors is too great, which is why I think they are pulling back on prescribing Benzos. I once looked into going to rehab for it, because I was not leaving my apartment for months on end and sleeping 18 hours a day. Only 1 rehab owner who runs a famous clinic in Malibu was honest enough to tell me that he would get me in, but he's had very little success with a Benzo addicts. He said he's had better luck with heroin users than Benzo users due to the way it affects the central nervous system. Having tried to taper several times, I now know exactly what he meant. Even if you are able to get off and stay off, the side effects stay with you for life (and not the 1-3 years they tell you). I think it's partially that fear that keeps us on them, as well as controlling are anxiety.
(07-21-2017, 03:00 PM)cmdline Wrote: Muzicatty your first paragrapgh basically hit a nail on the head spot on how i feel,depressed angry etc,if i could i would just lie in bed most days,sleep is deprived since awake many times at night thus come day even after 10hours of sleep i feel like i could hit bed any time,come night and im boosted with energy and thoughts running trough my head up till 4 in the morning,thus get snappy easily during the day.I, too, am not usually a big "sharer," but I find that it helps to talk to others who are going through the same thing. If I ever hit "the magic 50," we can e-mail in private and maybe you will find it easier to talk about. Here are in the U.S., Benzos are becoming extremely more difficult to get, much like it sounds where you live. That's why IOPs and the Dark Net are becoming so popular. The scary thing is that when you get your medications this way, you never know what you are really getting, unless you have a trusted supplier. I remember reading a story awhile back about people getting heroin from Russia that was known as "Krokodil," which contains flesh-eating fillers. Google it and look at the images. That's enough to keep me off of Opiates/Opioids for good. I thought crystal meth was bad, but what that form of heroin does to you is down right scary!
Now dont like sharing on public forum too much but ive never approached any doc in my life about anxiety/panic issues just taboo/ashamed topic.Since after hitting until 18 i brushed off most of the symptoms had good circle of friends social life and it wasn't an issue, high school/college it went down hill just became awkward in social situations, hard to focus on people, becoming agoraphobic in large crowds its like stepping back to being 7 again.
long story short eventually opened up to family, went to counseling which did nothing and hit the internet once i knew what helps with anxiety pretty much away jumped into online and took matters in my own hands, and for first time in life ive managed great for about 5-6 years then as these things go realized im stuck with two issues.Since dont live in states benzos where i am are basically on highest blacklist ER cases,did acquire small amount one time but it was like doc giving me coke it felt for that joke of a blister of 10x0.5 xans.
did try MJ in my years and its great but since its far away from legal you get what you get found it great for sleep but not smth that would work on daily or even weekly basis,thou its only a plant and great to chill when possible.
My cut down is due since im stocking up since im always few months short on supply meaning have always to last me couple months which only makes things harder since you get few weeks break but then you know your pile is running low daily.
also since do contract work whenever i get, so get really stressed so that puts me into situation where i need to up the dosage before i even out, not to mention my family thinks its depression mood swings even thou im past 30 now which is adult stage, since told em years ago but response was get over it, not an option when your brains are wired differently and this $hit runs in the family but relatives cope differently, but its obvious when you see them struggling with simple life tasks,and making it to be like end of the world.
one thing thou that makes me different i knew dangers of going on benzos,now id say its way bigger sacrifice then it seems, but as said alternatives none of them come close.I have respect for people that went to MDs when they first noticed and could, but when im on almost decade been doing it myself its not really and option to seek help even cost wise what i get online seeing any md would be like getting 2 months supply elsewhere minus all the explanations being refereed to handful of psychs etc,seems system is simple if i was shooting up id have no issues getting suboxone or whatever is given to people but with anxiety it seems government thinks meditation is all we need,or better just ignore the issue.Sorry for such rant but thats my story,and until i can help myself on my own terms,seems its only option.
I feel bad that you live somewhere where there is a stigma attached to needing help for depression and anxiety. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I also believe, as you mentioned, there is a genetic component to it. My brother has battled depression, although not as bad as I have. I think my mother is manic, but she will never own up to it. My grandparents gambled, smoked and drank heavily and I have several great uncles who are alcoholics. Oh, and a cousin who I believe is on crystal meth, although we are not close and her parents would never admit it. All of this is a form of self-medicating. I believe depression is a big part of it.
I read an article the other day that more Americans are suffering from depression and anxiety than ever before. I'm sure it has a lot to do with our lifestyles, stress, the poisons being put in our food, lack of sleep, lack of high paying jobs and our current political climate. However, I don't think it is just a problem in the U.S. I think it is a problem everywhere.
Ok, so I don't tell many people this, but for 18 months I became so depressed that I became an Agrophobe. I took my clonazepam which helped me sleep up to 18 hours a day (obviously, this was many years ago before I built up a tolerance), had my groceries delivered (which was crazy because I lived across the street from a grocery store) and, like you, only left the house for doctors appointments. I got my prescriptions by mail. I ended up losing everything - my savings, house, car (well, that was due to a car accident), job and professional reputation. It has been a long road back and I am still not where I was, but I'm trying. I still have bad days (I called in sick to work and stayed in bed all day today - not sleeping, of course (like you, I can't shut my mind off to go to sleep), just staring at the ceiling mostly and binge watching "The Americans").
You are still exactly right about the fact that if you were shooting up you would get help. Same thing if you were an alcoholic. So, why the stigma surrounding Benzos, depression and anxiety? I think the answer to the Benzo issue is that it is still not fully understood by the medical community and there is no cure once you are on it long term. Whoever finds a solution/cure should win a Nobel Peace Prize.
I get the same thing from my doctor. I'm told to meditate, do yoga, excerise more, take more time for myself, but as a highly stressed type A person with a bad back from years of abusing my body (running 20 miles a day for the heck of it - don't even get me started on that) that is not going to help. My hope is that by talking to others, like you, we can all help each other and support each other as we get through the issues we are dealing with.
