Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

A few Aussie jokes:::

Bruce comes home from the pub and sees
his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F%*#ing
cooking show on the tv.

Bruce says; "What are you watching that
shit for? You can't cook to save your life!."

To which his wife replies; "So what? You watch porn movies, dont you?"

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A story about friendship.

Sheila didn't come home one night.
SO Bruce asked her,"where've you been all night?"

She said, "I spent the night at a girl friend's house."

Bruce was a bit suspicious that she'd been fooling around a bit, so rang her ten closest friends, but none of them had seen her.

The next week Bruce didn't come home one
night.

So his wife asked him, "Where the hell have you been all night!"
He said,"I got a bit drunk at a friend's place and thought it was safer not to drive and crash out there."

Now she thinks he's been fooling around, so she called his ten best friends.

Eight of them say he spent the night there and two claimed he was still there!

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Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce
stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued by his answer, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "Well 3 were on a beer can, 2
were on the phone."

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Sheila wants an all over suntan but is not quite sure how to go about it.

So she says to Bruce,"You think I should go sunbathing in the nude in the backyard?"

"Yeah, no problem", says Bruce, "Go for it."

"But what if the neighbours see me naked, what will they think?", she asked.

Bruce said,"They'll just think that I married you for your money!"

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I'll try those that didn't work one more time as the "edit" button seems to have dissapeared at the moment!?

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