Why, Do People Become Addicted?

[barq2]

I was just thinking about Cricket's description of the PKs, and the wider discussion of addiction. A while back I bounced my way home from the doctor. I was the most gleeful I had been all month. Why? I had a prescription for 480 painkillers for the next 30 days. It was a real rush - and I hadn't even taken them yet, but I had them, they were in my hand.

Part of the thrill was knowing I had successfully manipulated three doctors. Rather like someone with shopping addiction, I was mostly fixated on the acquisition (and hoarding) of the pills. Once home, I lovingly piled up the boxes, along with the ones I'd stashed from previous "successes". I was oddly proud of the quantity.

Just to be clear, I did have a legitimately serious injury, but it became something else. My manipulating was wrong. Obviously lots of people have to jump through hoops to get the medication they genuinely need and I'm not comparing what I did with that. My actions were pathological and in terms of recovery I'll be paying the price for a long time. It helped me function at a very high level, not only was the pain gone but I felt more confident than ever. But of course it could never last.

In hindsight, I replaced people with things (mostly pills or alcohol - generally not together!). I think that's one of the markers of addiction.