Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS,
THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE
THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on
a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my
food.

Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate
and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find
that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR
and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.