Strangest things you have ever seen firsthand.

[IceWizard]

Ok... I'll spill the beans.. But I have to warn you don't be eatin anything whilst reading this stuff... It's bad...

I was in my early 20's and was heading back home outta Houston.. My belly wasn't agreeing with all the Mexican food I'd been eating that day (musta been that taco truck)...

Anyway, I spotted a gas station and hit the exit... Not a moment too soon I might add... I shot into the lot like a bullett and parked damn near sideways... Out my car door like a shot and sprinted to the bathroom door (thank God I didn't have to get a damn key!)

As I slammed the door with one hand, my other was busy tryin to get my tight assed britches down... I was almost there!

I got them down and as I started to fling myself on the pot, that's when it happened... And when it started there was no stoppin anything!

I shit down the wall and everywhere! But hey at least my pants weren't ruined, but my underware took a beatin... Then like out of a bad movie... No paper! The only thing there was one of those "air dryers" and those cloth roll up machines... Damn...

There I was trying to use that roller machine.. I had to pull as hard as I could to get enough out so I could put one leg through .. Then I could wipe a bit and roll out some new...

By this time, I had slipped on the shitty floor a few times and it looked like somebody literely had the shit beat out of them!! It was everywhere! I finally took out my knife and cut my drawers off... Washed up as good as possible and took a peek out the door... Nobody there... I made a quick dash to my car... Can't say I made a "clean" get-a-way, but I was ready to leave...

As I left the lot... I saw another guy headin in... Poor dude...

Thank God I've never had an episode quite like that again!

Ice