11-30-2024, 07:55 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2024, 08:00 AM by NovemberRain.)
I slept through Thanksgiving. I have a new cat I absolutely adore. He's so good and sweet. My sister who lives in the same town sent me a Happy Thanksgiving text. It was very difficult, but I sent one back.
My sis is upset because this older sister promised me I wouldn't be alone after my parents died. Promised help with anything that broke down, clogged, etc. Said her son and in-laws can do it all. They can, too. They redid her bathroom, their own kitchen cabinets, built my dad's shop.
Every time something breaks down, my sis's husband has had to drive three hours here to take care of it, or send someone to fix it, and has had to pay for it himself.
Since 2021 when my parents died, I have been alone not just for holidays, but 24/7.
Only when my sis and husband can come up have I spent time with anyone. They both got weird flus this year and said they would still come up, but my sis's husband got better (he had constant chills, coughing, and a temperature of 101) then my sis got sick. Hers is the lovely bathroom type of being sick. She also has no taste for the first time in her life. So I said please do not come. I'll get what you both had, but will be alone, and being sick and alone is not easy. I don't have transportation, either.
She's still sick. A bit better, but can't taste anything.
Sick and tired, is what I am. Tired of turning the other cheek, tired of trying not to be bitter, tired of everything. Definitely tired of this broken world.
The neighbors are usually gone, and they all have family. One across from me recently died. He was very old. I'd love to have his home. It's upgraded and I love the layout. It's been for sale quite awhile, but no one is buying.
I want to be with Jesus, and my mom and dad and grandparents, and other family members who've passed on.
Sorry for the pity party. Never did I expect my life to be like this.
But I have more than many others do. Heat, AC in winter (triple digits here in summer and I get heat stroke very easily) running water, a washer and a dryer, a TV with only streaming, but a lot to watch, and a phone. And, my beautiful and so sweet tempered cat.
I've had wretched anxiety and depression my whole life, and it sucks. But, it could be, and will be, worse with what's going on between us and other countries.
I have to order my groceries too, Charon. Getting them in the house iss difficult.
I've had some real weirdos, who purposely tossed them about, and where I asked nicely NOT to place them, but lately I have had wonderful deliverers.
There's far more that I don't know how I'm going to deal with. Medicaid issues caused by an extremely rude woman who didn't do her job, and it caused me to lose my benefits. They were reinstated...but my health plan was dropped because of it, so now I have to choose between two, and I have no info, nor the thinking ability to understand any of it, which means my refills, which are not to be abruptly stopped EVER, will be stopped. They're phasing out Medicaid for many and having these people choose a health plan. It's still "Medicaid", and I have no choice or I lose my benefits.
I could tell them I'm an immigrant, then I'd get health care, money, a free home, etc. But I'm already in "the system."
But I wouldn't do that because it would not be fair, nor would it be right.
I miss my parents! And aunts and uncles.
Sis and I are late babies, so everyone was older and now, dead.
Older sister here has "issues." Congenital pathological liar, and more. She was adopted. Her children turned out to be selfish snots, just like she always was.
That was mean, I know. But it's true. She put my parents through h***.
Oh, Jesus please take me home!
Again, sorry for this downer of a post.
My sis is upset because this older sister promised me I wouldn't be alone after my parents died. Promised help with anything that broke down, clogged, etc. Said her son and in-laws can do it all. They can, too. They redid her bathroom, their own kitchen cabinets, built my dad's shop.
Every time something breaks down, my sis's husband has had to drive three hours here to take care of it, or send someone to fix it, and has had to pay for it himself.
Since 2021 when my parents died, I have been alone not just for holidays, but 24/7.
Only when my sis and husband can come up have I spent time with anyone. They both got weird flus this year and said they would still come up, but my sis's husband got better (he had constant chills, coughing, and a temperature of 101) then my sis got sick. Hers is the lovely bathroom type of being sick. She also has no taste for the first time in her life. So I said please do not come. I'll get what you both had, but will be alone, and being sick and alone is not easy. I don't have transportation, either.
She's still sick. A bit better, but can't taste anything.
Sick and tired, is what I am. Tired of turning the other cheek, tired of trying not to be bitter, tired of everything. Definitely tired of this broken world.
The neighbors are usually gone, and they all have family. One across from me recently died. He was very old. I'd love to have his home. It's upgraded and I love the layout. It's been for sale quite awhile, but no one is buying.
I want to be with Jesus, and my mom and dad and grandparents, and other family members who've passed on.
Sorry for the pity party. Never did I expect my life to be like this.
But I have more than many others do. Heat, AC in winter (triple digits here in summer and I get heat stroke very easily) running water, a washer and a dryer, a TV with only streaming, but a lot to watch, and a phone. And, my beautiful and so sweet tempered cat.
I've had wretched anxiety and depression my whole life, and it sucks. But, it could be, and will be, worse with what's going on between us and other countries.
I have to order my groceries too, Charon. Getting them in the house iss difficult.
I've had some real weirdos, who purposely tossed them about, and where I asked nicely NOT to place them, but lately I have had wonderful deliverers.
There's far more that I don't know how I'm going to deal with. Medicaid issues caused by an extremely rude woman who didn't do her job, and it caused me to lose my benefits. They were reinstated...but my health plan was dropped because of it, so now I have to choose between two, and I have no info, nor the thinking ability to understand any of it, which means my refills, which are not to be abruptly stopped EVER, will be stopped. They're phasing out Medicaid for many and having these people choose a health plan. It's still "Medicaid", and I have no choice or I lose my benefits.
I could tell them I'm an immigrant, then I'd get health care, money, a free home, etc. But I'm already in "the system."
But I wouldn't do that because it would not be fair, nor would it be right.
I miss my parents! And aunts and uncles.
Sis and I are late babies, so everyone was older and now, dead.
Older sister here has "issues." Congenital pathological liar, and more. She was adopted. Her children turned out to be selfish snots, just like she always was.
That was mean, I know. But it's true. She put my parents through h***.
Oh, Jesus please take me home!
Again, sorry for this downer of a post.