Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

The Irish attempt at scaling Mount Everest was a valiant effort,
but it failed.
They ran out of scaffolding.

Murphy lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup,
a famous Australian horse race.
He also lost another hundred on the television replay.


Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen,
'Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantel piece ?'

'No,' said the husband,
'but I'm getting closer all the time.'


The Doctor was puzzled,
'I'm very sorry Mr. O'Flaherty,
but I can't diagnose your trouble. 
I think it must be drink.'
'Don't worry about it Dr. Cullen,
I'll come back when you're sober.' said O'Flaherty.


An Irish lass, a customer: 
Could I be trying on that dress in the window ?'
Shopkeeper: 
'I'd prefer that you use the dressing room.'


'O'Halloran' asked the pharmacist,
'did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?'.
'It did surely,' replied O'Halloran,
'but it keeps fallin' off.'

Definition of an Irish husband ?
A man who hasn't kissed his wife in twenty years,
but he'll kill the man who does.