Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

How To Decide Who You Are Going To Marry
(written by children)


You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before,
and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10


WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age
because you know the person FOREVER by then..
-- Camille, age 10


HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess,
based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

-Dates are for having fun,
and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date,
they just tell each other lies and that
usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (Love her )

-The law says you have to be eighteen,
so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this:
If you kiss someone,
then you should marry them and have kids with them.
It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )


HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain,
wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the Favorite is.......


HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty,
even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 11






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Real Thruths In Life.




GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8 ) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food.. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . .
Not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . .
Having friends.

At age 17 success is . .
Having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . . .
Having money.

At age 50 success is . . .
Having money.

At age 70 success is . .. .
Having a driver’s license.

At age 75 success is . ... .
Having friends.

At age 80 success is . . ..
Not piddling in your pants.



Kinda a full circle