Ye ole Cafe

[Shayna]

Thanks Linville and Fireplaces. I am back on track with meds, and today I was actually hungry and ate solid foods!!

Sometimes I just get down, and it's especially hard to stay chipper when my husband is battling depression and anxiety and pain. He stays in the negative nearly always these days. I try to be positive and cheerful, but sometimes he just keeps snapping and being snarky and mean, and I know it's his pain talking.

It's just, I don't do that when I am in pain, and his pain causes me pain, if that makes sense. I short myself on my pills so he can have some, since his drs won't treat his pain. Then, he resists taking them, saying they are mine and he doesn't deserve any pain relief, per his drs, etc. etc. It's a maddening cycle that often just wears me down.

Tonight has been a rough night, even though my gut is doing better. But tomorrow is another day, and another chance to begin anew. Despite that, I keep telling him that his mean words are like hammering nails into a wooden fence. Even if I forgive and pull out the nails, it still leaves jagged holes in my soul. And there have been a lot of holes hammered lately....