Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

 

---

Dedicated to Amber Heard


After a night of drinking,
Brian crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke,
he found a strange man standing at the
end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?"
demanded Brian,
"And what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious Man answered,
"This isn't your bedroom and I'm St. Peter."

Brian was stunned,
"You mean I'm dead!?
That can't be;
I have so much to live for.
I haven't said goodbye to my family
and friends. You've got to send me
back straight away!!"

St. Peter replied,
"Yes, you can be reincarnated
but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as
a dog or a hen."

Brian was devastated,
but knowing there was a farm not far
from his house, he asked to be sent back
as a hen.

A flash of light later,
he was covered in feathers and
clucking around pecking the ground.

This isn't so bad he thought,
until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,
"So you are the new hen.
How are you enjoying your first day here? "

"It's not so bad."
replies Brian
"But I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode!"

"You’re ovulating."
explained the rooster,
"Don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before."

"Never"
replies Brian.

"Well just relax and let it happen."

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable
seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him
and his emotions got the better of him as he
experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg,
the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen
was the best thing that had happened to him ever!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to
lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on
the back of his head and heard his wife shouting ...

"Brian, wake up ye drunken bastage,
you're shatting in the bed".