Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

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It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar.
It's a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.

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A wannabe rich woman once bought and expensive fur coat
which didn’t sit well with her 14 year old daughter.

“Mom, do you realize that some poor, dumb beast
had to suffer so you could get that?”
She said

The woman, infuriated by her daughter’s comment said
"How dare you speak about your father like that!"


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Girlfriend messaged me:
"helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative"

What does 'ternative' mean?