Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

A psychiatrist was traveling home from work by train
when he noticed the old man opposite
talking to himself then laughing aloud.

Every so often the man would raise his hand,
stop talking, and then start all over again.

Intrigued by what was clearly a fascinating case,
the psychiatrist eventually asked:
"Can I help in any way? I’m a trained psychiatrist."

"Thanks, but no,"
said the old man.
"It’s nothing out of the ordinary.
You see, to keep myself awake
on the journey, I tell myself jokes."

"But why do you keep raising you hand?"
asked the psychiatrist.

"Oh, that’s to stop me telling a joke I’ve heard before."


**********

So, one large oil company have announced
that they are going to be producing fuel
from insect urine.

I think it is B.P.


****

I took my dog to the park today to play Frisbee.
He was hopeless.
I think I need a flatter dog.

*****


How I learned to mind my own business

I was walking past a mental hospital the other day.
And the patients were shouting “13, 13, 13..”

The fence was too high high to see over.

But there was a small gap in the planks,
so I looked through to see what’s going on….

… Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick

And the next thing I hear from over the fence
is all the patients chanting “14……14…..14….”