Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

After their usual checkup, this older couple was
told by the Dr that at their age, they may need
to start writing things down so as not to be forgetful.

That evening, the old lady asked her husband,
"Would you go to the kitchen and get me some ice cream?
and here's a pad, you'd better write that down."

The old man said,
"I can remember that, you want ice cream."

She said,
"Yes and I'd like some whipped cream on top
of my ice cream. You'd better write that down."

He said,
"I won't forget, ice cream with whipped cream on it."

She said,
"And, remember to put a cherry on top, here, you'd better 
write that down so you won't forget."

He said,
"I'm just going to the kitchen, I'll remember.
Ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top!"

After a long while, about 30 minutes, he came back and 
brought his wife a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon.

The old woman looked it over and said,
"So... Where's my toast?"

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A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America,
so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads
"GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity
to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer:
"I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese:
"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and
put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer:
"Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese:
"Congrats, your sense of taste is restored.
Give me my $20."

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days
to try to recover his money.

Lawyer:
"I have lost my memory.
I can’t remember anything."

Chinese:
"Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 14
and put 3 drops in his mouth."

Lawyer (annoyed):
"This is kerosene. You gave this to me
last time for restoring my taste."

Chinese:
"Congrats. You got your memory back.
Give me $20."

The fuming lawyer pays him,
then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer:
"My eyesight has become very weak I cannot see at all."

Chinese:
"Well, I don't have any medicine for that,
so take this $100."

Lawyer (staring at the note):
"But this is $20, not $100!”

Chinese:
"Congrats, your eyesight is restored.
Give me $20"