Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

The other day I went to the local religious book store,
where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker.
I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car,
and I'm really glad I did.

What an uplifting experience followed!

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection,
just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice
that the light had changed.

That bumper sticker really worked!

I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy.

He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon,
he leaned out his window and yelled,
"Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could.

It was like a football game with him shouting,
"GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!"

Everyone else started honking, too,
so I leaned out my window and waved and
smiled to all of those loving people.

There must have been a guy from Florida back there
because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach,
and saw him waving in a funny way with only
his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my two grand kids what that meant.
They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled
and told me, that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign.

So, I leaned out the window and
gave him the good luck sign back.

Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped
out of his car and yelled something.

I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like,
"Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there."

Maybe he was from Florida, too.
He must really love the Lord.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy
of the moment that they got out of their cars
and were walking toward me.

I bet they wanted to pray,
but just then I noticed that the light had
changed to yellow, and stepped
on the gas.

And a good thing I did, because I was
the only driver to get across the intersection.

I looked back at them standing there.

I leaned way out the window,
gave them a big smile and held up the
Hawaiian good luck sign
as I drove away.


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A soldier ran up to a nun,
Out of breath he asked:
"Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed.

A moment later two Military Police officers ran up and asked:
"Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied:
"He went that way."
Pointing far off.

After the Military Police officers ran off,
the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said:
"I can't thank you enough Sister.
You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq."

The nun said:
"I understand completely."

The soldier added:
"I hope I'm not rude,
but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied:
"If you had looked a little higher,
you would have seen a great pair of balls...
I don't want to go to Iraq either!"


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