Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

I believe this particular Beer wouldn't make it without
a couple-0-fights over here... It's from Iceland

Pronounced Beer-B!tch











**********


A man tried to smuggle a puppy into the country and
avoid the quarantine laws, but accidentally drew attention
to himself as he tried to walk casually through customs.

He had put the dog down his trousers, but every time he took a step,
his whole body would shake and he kept making little moaning sounds.

"Excuse me, sir, is there anything wrong?"
inquired the customs official.

"Yes, officer,"
gasped the man in a strangled voice.
"I tried to smuggle a puppy into the country by putting it down my trousers."

"Oh, yes?"
smiled the officer knowingly.
"You've just discovered it's not house-trained, have you?"

"No,"
replied the agitated man,
"I've just discovered it's not weaned."


**********


A man and a parrot find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane.
As the stewardess comes along, the man asks for a coffee, at which point
the parrot shouts,
"Get me a brandy and be quick about it!"

A little upset by his attitude, the stewardess goes off and returns
with the brandy. but not the coffee.

"Excuse me, Miss, you've forgotten my coffee,"
the man tells her.

"Oh, sorry,"
she replies,
and is just about to go when the parrot shouts even louder,
"And get me another brandy, you incompetent cow!"

This time she's very upset but returns quickly with the brandy,
having forgotten once again to get the man's coffee.

"Maybe if I take the same attitude as this parrot, I might get results,"
he thinks to himself.

"Hey, coffee, and be quick about it, you dumb blonde!"
he shouts.

In no time at all the stewardess returns with two male colleagues
who drag both the man and the parrot from their seats and throw
them out of the emergency hatch.

As the man passes the parrot on the way down,
the bird turns to him and says,

"You know, you've got a real attitude for someone who can't fly."