Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Early Morning Thoughts


I was thinking...
"What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?'

The answer came to me...
.'After a year the dog is still excited to see you.'

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What is the difference between a battery and a man?

The answer came to me...
'A battery has a positive side.'

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Among retirees, what is considered formal attire ?

The answer came to me...
'Tied shoes.'

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Does a proud self-confident Canadian have a type eh personality ?

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There's only two ways to do something. 
The right way, and again.

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The government's first priority should always be to their own nation,
not the flavor of the month political opinion.   

That's what they exist for.

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Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.......

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I was taught to always respect my elders.
It's just getting harder to find them.

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Considering some of today's families,
It's no wonder some parent's eat their young!

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Yawning...
The human equivalent of low battery warning.

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My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex
but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.

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A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air.
A psychotic is the man who lives in it.
A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.

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My wife and I had words,
but I didn't get to use mine.

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God made man before woman
so as to give him time to think of an
answer for her first question.

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Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

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I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention.


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Common Sense,
is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden.

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I've been diagnosed with a severe case of flatulence. 
I won't be suffering in silence though.

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Apparently there's gonna be a remake of the film...

The Never Ending Story. 

It starts off where a man asks a
woman how her day went!!

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