11-06-2019, 09:53 PM
Thanks Roses and Happyvibe - that helps. Roses, I remember now reading about your Dad passing. I think we are on the same side of the Atlantic, so I always spot your posts. How are you doing 2 years on?
You've both confirmed what I thought, but I just wasn't sure. Glad to say the "thinking of you" message from me to my friend expanded into going for a meal in a few days time. I think that's good for her to get out of the house filled with people mourning. As she put it, having a little break from being sad. So I think my role is to provide distraction for a bit.
I'm naturally upset, but coping. My issue is that I know I'll lose my Dad in the not too distant future, so this has an extra resonance.
The only time I nearly lost it was when someone at work who knew about this (she'd seen me crying), then got really critical and pedantic on me about something. I reminded her why I was very upset and possibly not 100% at work. I ended up warning her that if she continued poking me like that she might get a response she wouldn't like. I'm normally very polite, but I can occasionally go thermonuclear (maybe once every five years, not often). She was very close to getting the hydrogen bomb experience.
Someone else suggested that Ursula Le Guin's Earthsea novels help with mourning. Le Guin does this dualism thing... there is no light without dark, no life without death, no love without loss. I've made it sound a bit nihilistic, but she is more comforting than that. For my friend, she is upset because she loved her dad. That love was a good thing.
Anyway, films, books, philosophy about death and grief are all welcome.
You've both confirmed what I thought, but I just wasn't sure. Glad to say the "thinking of you" message from me to my friend expanded into going for a meal in a few days time. I think that's good for her to get out of the house filled with people mourning. As she put it, having a little break from being sad. So I think my role is to provide distraction for a bit.
I'm naturally upset, but coping. My issue is that I know I'll lose my Dad in the not too distant future, so this has an extra resonance.
The only time I nearly lost it was when someone at work who knew about this (she'd seen me crying), then got really critical and pedantic on me about something. I reminded her why I was very upset and possibly not 100% at work. I ended up warning her that if she continued poking me like that she might get a response she wouldn't like. I'm normally very polite, but I can occasionally go thermonuclear (maybe once every five years, not often). She was very close to getting the hydrogen bomb experience.
Someone else suggested that Ursula Le Guin's Earthsea novels help with mourning. Le Guin does this dualism thing... there is no light without dark, no life without death, no love without loss. I've made it sound a bit nihilistic, but she is more comforting than that. For my friend, she is upset because she loved her dad. That love was a good thing.
Anyway, films, books, philosophy about death and grief are all welcome.