Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?"

Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."


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A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language
and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on.

Intending to visit one of the local churches,he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place.

Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one in the front row.

So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He chose
to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew.

As they sang, the man clapped his hands, so the missionary recruit clapped too.

When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too.

When the man sat down, he sat down.

When the man held the cup and bread for the Lord's Supper, he held the cup and bread.

During the preaching, the recruit didn't understand a thing. He just sat there and tried to look just like that man in the front pew.  

Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements.

People clapped, so he looked to see if the man was clapping. He was, and so the recruit clapped too.

Then the preacher said some words that he didn't understand and he saw the man next to him stand up.

So he stood up too.

Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation. A few people gasped. He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing.

So he sat down.

After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving.

When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the preacher, the preacher said, in English:

"I take it you don't speak Spanish."

The missionary recruit replied: "No I don't. It's that obvious?"

"Well yes," said the preacher, "I announced that the Acosta family had a newborn baby boy and would
the proud father please stand up."


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