Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Who actually designs this stuff?








Australian Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word.

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab.

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there.

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best.

I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs.

I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get.

No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the cricket’s on
And fetch another beer..

(kinda brings a lump to ya throat dunnit?)


Really?!



A Blonde Joke

A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
"Oh my God, what's up?" she asks.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mummy, Mummy, Aunty Shirley is hiding in the closet and she has no clothes on"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom.

Goes right past her husband....rips open the closet door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
"You rotten Bitch", she screams, "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!"