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+--- Thread: Depression/recovery/self-medicating (/showthread.php?tid=3119)
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Depression/recovery/self-medicating - Drewpickup - 03-07-2017
I'll get to the point quick. I'm a recovering alcoholic. 5 years now. I didn't do do it through 12 step programs which have never worked for me. Any 12 steppers reading this spare me...I sobered up because I was tired of rehabs and prison and just wanted my family. Through therapy and medication (Anabuse and Acaprostrste) and yes hanging out with some friends who do go to meetings I have stayed off alcohol. But one thing that's always kicked my ass is depression. I take citalopram. It I have my good days and bad. I use benzos as strong pain killers occasionall only because. As I've explained before I just don't have time to meditate. Exercise helps I play rugby basketball and whatever else when I can but in do hurt myself badly on occasions. Just broke my thumb BMXing. Plus i have a wife and 4 little boys and a baby girl. So yes these meds Come in handy. And we travel for work everywhere. But these meds Sometimes affect my depression. How do people tow the line?
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - Drewpickup - 03-08-2017
Depressing to bring up a topic on depression then no one except one person responds kind of vaguely. Haha!
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - Charon - 03-08-2017
well, many of our members whom are really really depressed now, are not even posting at the moment. the depression is that bad.
it was an extremely tough holiday season in re: losses on one's family.
so, answers will come. but, we are small. and stay that way. so, sometimes u gotta wait.
i was told i had a chemical imbalance. causing me depression. in my twenties. tried those dagnabbit first wave of anti depressants but they clouded my ability to perform in the academic world. that ended that. i did complete 2 yrs of freudian analysis though at the time.
so, i have a tendency toward depression. but i wont' allow it to take me over. if it does, i go and regroup by prayer and music and dance.
but, since i had my son, i have not felt depressed again. I have seen what depression of a parent can do to a child.
Some whom are knowledgeable on this will answer.
Hang in there for us though.
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - Drewpickup - 03-08-2017
I like your attitude. Yeah I'm working through my doctorate now and sometimes you spend so much time I don't on your head or alone then home can be chaotic. Then suddenly things change and there's downtime. Yeah it's hard to find the right balance of meds. But understandable
Not wanting to engage and just isolate. It's funny because my wife is so even keel and I have so many ups and downs. But I did just finish helping my boys with their homework and that felt good, a. It of a lift. Just got keep moving along yeah? Thanks have a good one.
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - Stealth38 - 08-24-2017
Hey my friend, firstly congratulation on keeping the alcohol demon in check, especially as it sounds like you did it on your own with no 12 step process or fellowships support. Each day at a time right, there is a victory in every day you hang in there.
Regarding your depression and towing the line, it sounds like you are doing a pretty good job at what you are doing.
1) you are getting exercise, the more of it the better. (without going into detail I know how you feel and where you are coming from)
2) you are on a medication, which in my opinion is good. However, I was on citalopram, was never overly impressed with it. Then I was moved some years later onto its new sister drug called EScitalopram. A psychiatrist told me that each dose has 5x more potency for a therapeutic dose than citalopram. I am on the maximum dose which should be 5x stronger than citalopram. Might be worth looking into, I was switching SSRIs SNRIs constantly. I have stuck with the escitalopram.
3) You are mixing with the right set of friends. You don't need that temptation from friends who are big drinkers, AA and the big book recommends dumping all associates of the past that could cause a relapse. Hard enough with it being sold on every street shop corner as it is.
You are out of prison, you have stopped drinking, you are exercising. All positive big steps. Only thing I could suggest to add to what you are already doing is considering the medication, as well as possible therapy for the depression. I was very stubborn about therapy, thinking sod all that crap just give me some meds. However I learnt therapy is as strong as the meds if you find a good therapist, I switched a few times till I found a great one.
Good luck, wish you all the best.
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - MrFussbudget - 09-25-2017
Are you still around Drewpickup? I'm just recently started a recovery program for alcoholism. I'm only a week in. It's been very difficult. Tonight was extremely challenging because I sing in cabaret, and normally have a glass of wine or two before performing. I was stone cold sober, and suddenly so incredibly nervous to be on stage--my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Plus everyone is drinking there and offering drinks... Anyway, I'd be curious to hear how you are coping these days. I'm worried that this anxiety (and alternately depression) will be my biggest obstacle because I've been self-medicating with alcohol for so long.
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - MrFussbudget - 09-25-2017
(09-25-2017, 06:22 AM)Audrey Hepburn Wrote: Mr. Fussbudget,Hi Audrey--Yes! I've heard of musicians taking beta-blockers to stop hand shaking on stage. That's a great idea. I have an appointment this week.
Talk to your doctor and see if he/she could get on board with writing you a script for propranolol. It's a beta blocker that is used a lot for high blood pressure, but many people, including med students, use it to take the edge off public speaking.
I was given it to help with migraines, but it didn't help me. But alot of people swear by it.
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - durango - 10-03-2017
MrFussbudget, congratulations on your decision and efforts to get/be sober. i've been alcohol free since May 19th, 2011. no 12 steps just jail and the realization that it was ruining my life and i WANTED to change. i feel that's the key-at least it was for me. i eduacted myself regarding alcoholism and realized that i was self-medicating my entire adult life to hide from BiPolar. once diagnosed it made so much sense. but please realize that medication is just part of the overall plan to help you live with....whatever diagnosis you have. depression, anxiety, BP etc. i'd recommend getting in to see a pdoc as soon as you can and get a plan together. counseling is a huge part of dealing with your behavioral health issues. and you don't have to pay the huge $ by seeing just a pdoc....most US resources typically have a pdoc around to write the scripts so you can pay less per hour to see a psychologist or even a licensed counselor then have the pdoc do their thing. there's no magical med bullet. i'm on a 5 med cocktail but i attribute my being able to function out in the real world mostly to the things i've learned-about myself and what methods work best for me in dealing with my symptoms. power on and best of luck!
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - MrFussbudget - 10-04-2017
Wow Durango, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm not sure I've arrived at "wanting" to stop drinking yet. I found a good group called SMART recovery, and so far it's promising. Everyone in the group seems so bright and present and we all went out for coffee afterwards. I'm going again tonight. I'm also at an outpatient treatment center while I'm on leave from work, so the doctor there has prescribed medicine and it has helped. But honestly I'm really sad at the thought of never drinking again. I hope it doesn't take jail or worse to shake my love of alcohol.
RE: Depression/recovery/self-medicating - durango - 10-05-2017
hey my friend, whatever i takes and how ever you choose to get there is your best way. i'm not sad about the not partaking but there are times i miss it-many times and a lot. it's SO very prevalent in society! i'm glad to hear that your dr is helping you and i'm betting you have the strength inside you to do this! today is a glorious day! enjoy it to the fullest with all your senses alive and soaking it in