IOPList.Org
Humorous Smilies - Printable Version

+- IOPList.Org (https://www.ioplist.org)
+-- Forum: Off Topic (https://www.ioplist.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=25)
+--- Forum: The Lounge (https://www.ioplist.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=26)
+--- Thread: Humorous Smilies (/showthread.php?tid=319)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494

RE: Humorous Smilies - Charon - 10-20-2016

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - Charon - 10-20-2016

   








                                                                                 

RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 10-20-2016

   



Lee Trevino:
Why I Mow My Own Yard

(A true story; you got to love him.)

One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a  professional
golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas, mowing his front lawn, as he always did.

A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, “Excuse me, do you speak English?"  

Lee responded,  “Yes Ma'am, I do."  

The lady then asked, “What do you charge to do yard work?”  

Lee said, "Well, the woman in this house lets me sleep with her."  

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.

RE: Humorous Smilies - willie33 - 10-22-2016

[Image: You-cant-always-control.jpg]

[Image: funny-coffee-quotes2.jpg]
[Image: Funny-Good-Morning-Coffee-Meme-picture-quotes-7.jpg]

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 10-22-2016

willie ......Pop's is right ....I have missed a few of these "gems" Bowing down to you the Queen....

Lets see now who am I afraid of so that they will show in my house maybe, Scarlett Johansson, very afraid of her.

RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 10-22-2016

Not a LOL....but a smiley:

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 10-22-2016

[Image: izoYvScMp8rdXOKZlsLCvRmaZm8ppOZQPIeHFVLQ...0-h1200-no]
[Image: vtC-frTzOo_B4Ywk1xLq3bWA3bfXk7iivYaQEcmJ...0-h1200-no]
[Image: 5h22uCn2dWyo2ZTkuh3IMY9Iey-hSzGX1lhKgRNk...0-h1200-no]
we have seen this before but it is so funny I want to post again....


[Image: -RCPoX4ct_d24sHfNCckXWJ_GiOlpFy-6QhDbeG_...0-h1200-no]
[Image: Hlo7IfgdCyrjBNXOdlLL3w0xjEhFWOQ8IMv2enrP...0-h1200-no]

RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 10-25-2016

.........................

   


   

RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 10-25-2016

Pops .. Those not only true, they are funny as well! Thanks

ice

RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 10-25-2016

Great one liners about elections

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno~


The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~


We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
~Aesop~


If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers~


Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev~


When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow~


Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton~


Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~Author unknown~


Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan~


Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer~


I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~


A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Tex Guinan~


I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle~


Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson~


There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on Congressmen.
~Will Rogers


We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.
~Kin Hubbard~


(and they seem to ring true even today!)
Okay ... A "little Johnny" Joke



Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. How will you support Jenny?"

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this.

So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."