Everyone in Town Loved Old Roger


He was a friendly and jovial man,
always wearing a big smile and treating
his customers like they were family.

Roger was a woodworker by trade,
specializing in ornate picture frames.

Everyone who knew him would agree that
he was an expert in his field, perhaps even
a gifted prodigy, and he had over fifty years
experience.

After working his woodcraft every morning,
he would take a break in the afternoon and
sit out on the porch in front of his store,
Abbott's Framing,
which was passed on to him by his father
before him, and made small talk with all
the townsfolk as they came and
went about their days.

Well, suddenly old Roger passed away,
and the whole town turned out for his funeral.

His casket was adorned with wreaths and
bouquets, with a large centerpiece;
a photograph showcasing his big friendly smile.

The widowed Mrs. Abbott spoke a eulogy,
but then as she turned to leave,
became fixated on the photograph display
and began inspecting it.

The pastor noticed and walked over to her.

"Pastor,"
she said,
"I have noticed that this picture frame is
of high quality, but I immediately could tell
that it isn't my husband's work."

"You're right!"
said the pastor.
"I suppose it makes sense that he wouldn't
have made the frame for his own funeral photograph,
but now it begs the question.."

He turned to the funeral congregation.

"Who framed Roger Abbott?"

The Husband Store


A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value
of the products increase as the
shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a
particular floor, or may choose to go
up to the next floor,
but cannot go back down
except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store
to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 -
These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued,
but continues to the second floor,
where the sign reads:

Floor 2 -
These men Have Jobs
and Love Kids.

"That's nice,"
she thinks,
"but I want more."

So she continues upward.
The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 -
These men Have Jobs,
Love Kids,
and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks,
but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 4 -
These men Have Jobs,
Love Kids,
are Drop-dead Good Looking
and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!"
she exclaims,
"I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor
and the sign reads:


Floor 5 -
These men Have Jobs,
Love Kids, are Drop- dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework,
and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay,
but she goes to the sixth floor,
where the sign reads:


Floor 6 -
You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women
are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:

The store's owner opened a New Wives
store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex
and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors
have never been visited.