A new business is opening and one of the owner’s friends wants to send
him flowers for the occasion.

They arrive at the new business site and the owner reads the card:
“Rest in Peace.”

Understandably the owner is angry and calls the florist to complain.
After he tells the florist of the obvious mistake and
how angry he is, the florist replies,

“Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry,
you should imagine this. Somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today,
and they have flowers with a note saying,
‘Congratulations on your new location.'


**********


A man walks into a zoo.
The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It’s a Shih Tzu.

**********

Did you hear about the discerning entomologist with a degree in accounting?
He was into fine-ants.

**********

The COVID-19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market Crash of 1929
But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks,6
they're stocking for dumps

**********


Hitchhikers are so cool......
They are always giving me a thumbs up .

**********

Scientists say, that towels are the leading cause for dry skin .


**********

Hillary says it's time to have a woman in the Oval Office.

Bill says - been there, done that ...


**********

Dave went to the store for a box of mothballs.
His closet was infested with moths and he needed
a solution.

The next day, Dave returned to buy five more boxes.

“Weren’t you just here yesterday to buy a box of mothballs?”
the store clerk asked.

“Yes, but I used up that box already.
Those suckers are hard to hit when they start moving!”

**********

Two bats are hanging upside down in a cave.

The first bat asks the second,
“Do you remember the worst day of your life?”

The second bat replies
“I sure do. It was the day I had diarrhea !”


**********


A man places some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and
starts back toward his car when his attention is diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seems to be praying with profound intensity and keeps repeating,
“Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approaches him and says,
“Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before.
Who are you mourning? A child? A parent?”

The mourner takes a moment to collect himself, then replies,
“My wife’s first husband.”

Anyone remember Toonces the driving cat?






Toonces the Driving Cat:
Driver's Test - SNL







Toonces the Cat Revenge







Toonces on the Lawnmower