At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting
attorney attacked a witness.

"Isn't it true" he bellowed "that you accepted five thousand dollars
to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise
this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, judge Sullivan leaned over and said
"Sir, please answer the question".

"Oh" the startled witness said
"I thought he was talking to you".


*******************************


A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity:
looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the
wind direction and speed.

Finally, his exasperated partner says "What's taking so long?
Hit the damn ball!"

The guy answers "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," says his partner.
"You'll never hit her from here".


******************************


A man spoke to each of his three sons when he sent them to college.

"I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education,
and you do not owe me anything for that.
However, I want you to appreciate it. As a gesture of appreciation,
please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die".

And so it happened.

His sons became a doctor, a financial planner, and a lawyer,
each successful financially.

When their father died and they saw him in the coffin,
they remembered his wish.

First, the doctor stacked 10 crisp $100 bills onto the chest
of the deceased.

Next, the financial planner placed $1,000 there in 20 crisp $50 bills.

Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn.

He slowly reached into his pocket, removed his chequebook,
wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin,
and took the $2,000 cash.