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Humorous Smilies - Printable Version

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RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 10-21-2015

..............Fire......here's a big optical illusion....not the one your looking for.....but it's clever.

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 10-21-2015

Ok, Mr Kona.......your right Rolleyes

I'll make up for it with this:

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 10-21-2015

All very funny..

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RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 10-23-2015

Economic Stimulus?

This is indeed a very exciting program, and
I'll explain it by using a Q and A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the federal government
will send to taxpayers.

Q.Where will the government get this money ? A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my
own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to
purchase a high-definition TV set, thus
stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of
China ?
A. Shut up!


Below is some helpful advice on how to best
help the U.S. Economy by spending your
stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to theArabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to
India , Taiwan or China ...

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will
go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to
Japan or Korea .

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to
Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses
still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute
that you met at a yard sale and drink beer
all day !

(No need to thank me.I'm just glad I could be
of help)

RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 10-24-2015

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A Thanksgiving Epiphany!

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One For the Golfers in the Group
CBS Golf Announcer - David Feherty

He said one day, "It would be easier to pick a broken nose, than a winner in that group."

Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer, who finds very unique, colourful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind...

(probably always on time delay these days).

Feherty Quotes:

"Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body."

"That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn't find it if it was wrapped in bacon."

" I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife."

Jim Furyk's swing "looks like an octopus falling out of a tree."

Describing VJ Singh's prodigious practice regime -
"VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin." (Thought I was going to hurt myself laughing at that one.)

"That's a great shot with that swing."

"It's OK - the bunker stopped it."

"It's just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it."

"That was a great shot - if they'd have put the pin there today."

"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."

"That green appears smaller than a Pygmies' nipple".

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 10-24-2015

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RE: Humorous Smilies - willie33 - 10-24-2015

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RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 10-24-2015

Willie.... Linville... Those are hilarious!!

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 10-25-2015

willie33 nice one.


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RE: Humorous Smilies - Caróg liath - 10-25-2015

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