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Humorous Smilies - Printable Version

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RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 08-24-2015

I just found this very laughable.... They can't get it together that long!

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RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 08-24-2015

........................bad dogSmile

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 08-25-2015

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RE: Humorous Smilies - Popster - 08-26-2015

.......................

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - OrangeClay - 08-26-2015

TY Popster, I love me Border Collie pic, and guilty dogs pics are always wonderful Heart

   

RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 08-26-2015

A few Aussie jokes:::

Bruce comes home from the pub and sees
his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F%*#ing
cooking show on the tv.

Bruce says; "What are you watching that
shit for? You can't cook to save your life!."

To which his wife replies; "So what? You watch porn movies, dont you?"

=============

A story about friendship.

Sheila didn't come home one night.
SO Bruce asked her,"where've you been all night?"

She said, "I spent the night at a girl friend's house."

Bruce was a bit suspicious that she'd been fooling around a bit, so rang her ten closest friends, but none of them had seen her.

The next week Bruce didn't come home one
night.

So his wife asked him, "Where the hell have you been all night!"
He said,"I got a bit drunk at a friend's place and thought it was safer not to drive and crash out there."

Now she thinks he's been fooling around, so she called his ten best friends.

Eight of them say he spent the night there and two claimed he was still there!

============

Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce
stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued by his answer, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "Well 3 were on a beer can, 2
were on the phone."

================

Sheila wants an all over suntan but is not quite sure how to go about it.

So she says to Bruce,"You think I should go sunbathing in the nude in the backyard?"

"Yeah, no problem", says Bruce, "Go for it."

"But what if the neighbours see me naked, what will they think?", she asked.

Bruce said,"They'll just think that I married you for your money!"

=============


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I'll try those that didn't work one more time as the "edit" button seems to have dissapeared at the moment!?

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RE: Humorous Smilies - Charon - 08-26-2015

i was expecting: and, that's when the fight started.

i really liked the camouflage one. Never ever heard anyone say that before.

(gremlins on the wing? i just had to re boot as i was circling my last post which was an update. sorry, Ice.)

RE: Humorous Smilies - Charon - 08-26-2015

oh, i went back a couple pages. they are all great. thank u all for contributing.

just awesome.

RE: Humorous Smilies - IceWizard - 08-26-2015

Yeah Charon .... You might say we're just full of .....


Jokes ... lol

It's so good to see you back here!!
These are just for Charon's enjoyment:::::

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
some reason, took my order first.

I said,"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
cow?""

"Nah" I said, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

================

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Budwiser for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I said," The beer would make you look better at
night than the cold cream."

And that's when the fight started.....

=============

The wife asked,"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

I said,"Not as much as the dress
you wore yesterday."

And then the fight started.....

=============

A man and a woman were asleep like two
innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud
noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, "Holy crap! That must be my husband!"

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and
naked jumped out the window. He smashed
himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to
the bedroom and screamed at the woman, "I AM your husband!"

The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were
you running?"

And that's when the fight started.....

===========

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and
proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all
day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my
wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is
terrible!"

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Yea...and can you believe my stupid husband Is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started ...

RE: Humorous Smilies - Linville - 08-27-2015

Oh good Kittycat……laughing is so good for the health….grins

So here is another one.

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