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Benzodiazepine Withdrawal support
Gather some facts and figures TG.
When you see your doc next show him/ her the benefits of Lyrica over what you're currently being prescribed.
As long as you find some decent evidence online from a reliable source then it almost becomes 2 v 1.

When I have been going through pain this year I have gone in prepared.
I have now, on 2 occasions, after showing my 'notes' literally been asked "what would you like" and my options were a benz0 and 2 0piods

I guess my Dr knows it's not for rec.
it's a shame your area are all being tarred with the same brush.
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I find this a very intresting topic.
I have struggled with opiate addiction in the past. And it was not easy to kick that. I only succeeded with the help of subuxone and some great therapy. luckily my country has a great health program..so this was not too expensive. I read some other experiences on this forum from posters in other countries.

While I was in rehab and during a lot of meetings I heard and I saw the stories of people who tried to kick a benzo habit. And the withdrawls were horrific. Also mentally it took months or even years too recover.
So it is great to see such a topic where people offer helpful insights. 
Great feedback in here.
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To be honest I have fallen off the wagon again. It hasn't been as severe as last time (I don't remember 2013 happening at all), but I can see it coming to an end badly. At the moment I am only taking at night time because a couple of weeks back my work bestie asked me if I was drunk. I can't risk losing my job, but I'm popping a pill the moment I'm on the train home.

TBH I am scared about whatever happens either way: the physical withdrawals (I've had seizures from withdrawals in the past) or once again hitting rock bottom, cleaning up and spending 3 years getting my life back on track. My dream is to create a taper plan, stock up on exactly enough and stick to it perfectly, but I know myself too well to even pretend that's going to work.

I have never told anybody, never once, that I have a problem. The ultimate irony is that I get anxious and panic any time I pick up the phone to call a counsellor.
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Thumbs Up 
Hi Nick...

Seriously, well done for making the first and most important step - talking about it and admitting that it is a real problem for you, one you would rather not have going on in your life atm!

Maybe you could contact a local support group when you feel ready to taper off of them. And as you find it difficult to talk over the phone, and I know how that feels as I too get real edgy and just blurt stuff out, then there are some support groups that will do live chat over the internet, giving you more time to compose and think through your answers and what it is you need to say.

It sounds like you are going to need proper support from somewhere or someone.  Tapering Benz0z down to absolute zero is hard at the best of times.  And then you need to be strong enough to keep away from them in the future...but one step at a time!

I wish you the best of luck Nick, and maybe you have already made the first step to success right here - so well done you!
Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path...
And leave a trail... of Love, Laughter and Understanding.
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I don't want to post a link on here in case I get in trouble, but may I recommend The Ashton Manual for those who are looking to taper down or are going through wd.
It can be found free online, she has devoted her career in benzo research and recovery with decades of experience.
Success!
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
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Hey Nick,
Very honest post. It seems you have been down this road in the past so you know what to do. Although that doesnt make it easier..I know.
First thing to do is do not let it get any worse. Try to stabilise it. Then try to taper it down as fast as you can without feel ing really uncomfortable.
Go to meetings or a therapist if that helped you in the past.
You took the first step by communicating it here. You know what a poison these benzos are. It wont be easy but you know what needs to be done.
You can do it!
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Thanks Izzy, Quickfix and Chicci for your words of support. Today I woke up with a new sense of clarity and can think rationally for once- I guess getting it off my chest really helped.

Today I found every pill in my house and counted them all (in the hundreds all up). Mostly clon and vals, a few xans too. I flushed the xans because they always cause problems. At the moment, as I said I've only been taking at night about 2mg clon and maybe 10mg val at the most. I am considering giving most of them to my brother to hold on to (I know he will support me if I tell him).

I looked into the ashton manual and I think it is doable/ modifiable with what I already have on hand- start tapering with the clon and then move onto the diaz due to its (slightly) longer half life.

Tomorrow I am going to start looking for support groups or counsellors to help me through this. I've been through this before, but only ever alone. Feeling positive.
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I will not post a link on here, nor quote or talk to someone directly in case I get in trouble. I will only speak from my own personal experience about this topic in hope it will help someone else.

Battling with wd for the last three years, I have come to realize the single most important thing I had to do was at all costs avoid any other gaba a agonists which benzos bind to. For me that was alcohol which also binds to the same receptors in the brain, now I do not at all recommend going cold turkey from alc if you are dependent on it as it is just as dangerous as going ct from benzos. If you are dependent on both alc and benz this should be taken with extreme caution but also to be dependent on both is very dangerous esp if used in conjunction!

After having to go into detox as I was not consistent with my taper, it was the worst experience of my life that nearly killed me.
re-instating benz was the only option after that if I were to function at some decent level and not loose everything, I still don't know how I managed to keep everything in my life together whilst going through ct wd. But I don't regret the experience as it gave me the strength to face it head on this time and the taper quite honestly is a breeze compared to ct wd i went through. I tapered down to one sixth of the dose I used to be on.

May I recommend THE ASHTON MANUAL which can be found easily online. She has devoted her whole career on benz research and withdrawal and recovery with decades of experience in the field. She was a Prof at Newcastle University, and knows more about benzos than any MD who hands them out! You can even print it and take it to your DR, they should not dismiss it.

The most important thing is you first have to be ready to do this, don't start unless you are ready to taper and take on whats going to be a long but rewarding journey at the end.
For me the second was to remove alcohol all together- I cannot stress how much of a difference this has made.
Third is to move to a long lasting benzo such as val- all of this can be found on the Ashton manual.
Fourth is to know your body and what it can handle and what it can't, I have become sensitive to a lot of things in my diet and the world around me. But slowly exposing yourself to those things in order to stimulate your brain on the right course to a successful recovery.
Caffeine and Alcohol were the two most important things I had to remove also being careful with certain supplements.
The world around me became quite vivid, and at some points quite intolerable so a good support system is essential and knowing this is all part of withdrawal.
Anyhow I can go on forever, I hope my story helps some of you out there suffering. Please stay away from alcohol and caffeine, switch to a long acting benzo and let people know what your going through so you can have the mental support you need. p.s check the Ashton Manual

Good luck guys!
Success!
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
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For some reason, having only been on klonopin, i've never had much trouble jumping off it. Maybe it's just in my head, but i feel like if it was any of the others it would be more difficult. I haven't drank coffee in a few years and I feel like it would be otherwise if I did though. Still, all my empathy to those struggling, the vitamin L-theanine helps me greatly for anxiety and sleep
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Well I made the dumbest mistake today by having a chai latte which I did not know had caffeine. It caused a horrible panic attack/adrenaline rush that I have not had for a while with heart palpitations even when I am also on propranolol- a beta blocker.

I was nervous of a seizure coming on, so lied down in the dark in my bedroom.

Please stay away from caffeine at all costs, also it reduces the effects of benzos so if your tapering it will interfere with your blood plasma levels.

I'm still trembling a little, quite shocked at how much of an effect caffeine can have on us recoveringSad But I've also not had any caffeine for months. I hope I am not in for a sleepless night again.
Success!
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
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