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Benzodiazepines and their Differences
At Rumor, what a fabulous reply.  X@nax still works, but I have to take 2mg for any real effect.  Im trying not to exceed that amount. And I wish it worked faster.

I was thinking of trying the etizol@m, OR maybe the bananas.
seriously, rumor and kittycat, that is about the best summation of benzos that i have ever read.

it is awesome u took the time to help another and contribute.

thank u. u rule. (i am sorry, rumor, that u lost ur father that way. i still miss my parents.
Angel  It is Well with My Soul  Angel
I've found that benzos are very YMMV and I've definitely played benzo roulette very early on. I find that the Xanax/Kpin divide to be very interesting - among my friends (small sample size) there seems to be what I call the cilantro effect - there's very little middle ground, when it comes to enjoyability (although efficacy is a more mixed situation).

Xanax I spent 5 years on daily by a cavalcade of doctors who just prescribed what the last one did and the first one did it as a quick and dirty way to get me to stop freaking out because my roommate killed himself in front of me after freshman year finals. I guess things like that happen, just dramatic enough for a liberal arts school, or something, but since school was out and I had a flight to catch somehow I wound up spending 18-23 on Xanax every day, and Wal Mart would fill your script 4-5 days ahead of time although I hated the Mylans.. It took a year to kick cold (note: don't kick it cold). I still do it occasionally, but very weirdly, I find that it does some very weird stuff to me, paradoxical effects. Also, because of the script many of the experiences are tainted by both tolerance to and the drug itself. I actually still have a script for it, much smaller dose, much more infrequent refills, seems like it tends to make me a little too.... it's like my speed, essentially, which is exactly the opposite of what it does, calm, but definitely drives me into a short manic episode.

Less than 4mg - that's just feeling normal. Gets me up in the morning, literally. You need coffee, I take 4mg of Xanax and that gets me through the whole day.

4-6mg - Definitely I start sounding more like a traveling salesman at this point.

6-8mg - I will at this point sell you the Brooklyn Bridge and be your best friend and then buy some useless shit off Amazon because as it turns out Xanax actually makes me manic to the point where I had 5 years of consistent bipolar diagnoses (tolerance made it so that 4mg used to get me to this level) even though I had no real depressive episodes, until I kicked it and I've been quite ok ever since and would not get any sort of diagnosis like that.

8-10mg - Now I'll be rearranging furniture, I'm very enterprising. IT's becoming more like speed, kicks in a bit of OCD, also I start to compulsively lie.

10-15mg - Don't believe anything I say I will lie my ass off for no good reason and cannot help it, also I will remember everything I just can't stop.

15+ - black out and find my way home usually, autopilot.

Finger dip into bag of alprazolam powder on accident, unknown dose - Came to a week later halfway across the country with no money, no recollection, 6 hospital armbands, eating a deep dish pizza in Chicago with a friend who graduated the year before.

Klonopin - does effectively nothing, literally. I've went up to 23mg and had no noticeable effect at all, very weird. Pills were not bunk, worked on my then-girlfriend quite well, just not me. Also on 4mg of Xanax.

Bromazepam - the only reason to take this is to make bro jokes, otherwise I'd quote Alan Bennett - "Remarkable achievement, dullest of the lot." Went up to 50mg, certainly calm, but not real notable, no euphoria, more flatness. Also on 4mg of Xanax.

Librium - only had a very small dose, before the advent of my Xanax days, slight memory loss at 50mg, eventually just slept. Not exactly social.

Valium - Not a real big high, but great for tapers. Only reason I keep it on hand is if I go a bit off the rails on benzos for a few weeks - it happens every year, I'm completely functional, but I need to get off the train for a little bit. Valium is a good, quick way to taper, at this point a 3 months 4mg a day Xanax dependency can get tapered completely off to zero with a Valium switchover in about 3-4 weeks for me.

Etizolam - Initially quite a bit of euphoria and memory loss. You lose both after a while, and it gets dull, although it seems like I can go through a lot of it it does have a short, quick withdrawal. Did 120mg in 10 days, w/d for 2 days, not seizure level, but definitely incapacitative.(No Xanax involved here)

Estazolam - It's sold OTC in China as a sleep aid last I saw it. Takes quite a bit but it will get you to sleep (at 4mg Xanax tolerance). Pro: actual sleep, con: slight confusion waking up. 10mg will put me out, no less.

Clonazolam - very popular RC benzo atm, it sneaks up on you, does some weird thing to my heart, have benzo tolerance but was not on Xanax, my current roommate took 2mg, went to work, and got fired within 10 minutes. I went to work on the same dose and my client gave me a card for doing a good job. Indeed your mileage may vary.

Midazolam - never done it oral, IM 100mg, no rush, not unpleasant, will make you nod a little. I can see why it wouldn't effectively kill you and Oklahoma I believe started their execution process with 500mg IVed, which I am not certain nearly enough for someone's tolerant an nowhere near the LD50 certainly?

Phenazepam - I remember thanksgiving, finishing finals, dosing, taking too long to come up, dosed again, it was Christmas, I was in a Bass Pro Shop in Oklahoma with my then girlfriend, I didn't have my luggage, she didn't bring her glasses. Blackout city, and I very seldom blackout so this is pretty incredible. Check facebook, took a very long drive and took 3 pictures: girlfriend sleeping (she believes she slept the whole way.... it was like a 2 day drive and apparently we bickered and broke up a few times, she has snippits, and apparently we rented an audiobook from a Cracker Barrel somewhere, but I don't think there is one in Oklahoma. Still don't really know what happened.

Temazepam - Very strange. I have HPPD from doing too much acid (the ultimate lesson I learned is that there's a wall and you have to deal with it because if you keep going you'll keep hitting the wall, and no, was not listening to Pink Floyd), this is the only thing that clears it up, giving me a "suddenly, everything has changed" thing, a la Flaming Lips. 60-80mg + 4mg of Xanax, go to a movie, have a great time because blank space is actually blank. Light, pleasant euphoria.

Minus the Xanax, slightly less euphoria, still very nice, gentle, still clears up HPPD, that effect lasts 4-5 hours? Also 80mg.

Lorazepam - With Xanx, 4mg of each, I think this really takes the edge off things, does not help me sleep at all. This is what I always preferred to stop acid trips when they go bad, or any trip, or even uppers, works extremely fast, very efficient, even .5 will take the edge off if you are a little too spun, a litttle too much blow when you're visiting California, that type of deal, but takes about 4 alone to stop a full blown bad acid trip within about 5 minutes, which is pretty remarkable.

Flunitrazepam - they're back. I did roofies 3 times, firstt time I drank someone's beer and she apparently got roofied and I got it instead. Woke up in a random room and my car was parked more perfectly than I've ever parked it. Pre-Xanax.

Second time - I roofied myself. 4mg. Turns your beer blue, cool trick, but sedative effects only 3 hours long. Also on Xanax ofc.

Third time - Friend spiked my drink as a joke, did not know I had a ridiculous benzo tolerance, 1mg, in bourbon, did fuck all. Impressive party trick though.

Halcion - I can't take enough to get to sleep before it stops working. It's hard to gauge, doesn't hit me as hard as most people, I think. Did it off Xanax. 2mg then up to 6mg. Did end up napping.

Diclazepam - Also unremarkable. People really like it, but I didn't feel much euphoria, light, prolonged drowsiness, forgot how much I took.

Flubromazepam - Lasts way too long, it's like Phenazepam but you remember everything and I don't make the best decisions on this. Low dose, on blotter I think.

I feel like I definitely did a few more, but you know, Xanax definitely erases things some things but I got tolerant quick and it was pretty easy to be totally normal on it. Actually, I'd say ballsy, I was ballsy, and ballsy is a stone's throw away from reckless.

Similar drugs:

Ambien - shit, fuck no. Can't actually put me out, only black me out. Took it 3 nights in a row prescribed, all 3 nights blacked out drove to Denny's and ordered only water at the counter, according to my then roonmate who essentially had to babysit me. Also I tried to buy a rifle the third night at a Wal-Mart. Weird.

Also, a cautionary tale of how 4mg+ of Xanax a day may have saved my life in a moment of total stupidity: both me and my dealer screwed up: him by selling me 1 grain Phenobarbitals (65ng) and telling me they were 1/4 grain (16.25) and got a bit confused about the conversion and in the end managed to eat 90 x 65mg of these and spent a week in the ICU in a coma. Always do your homework, guys! I was going for 150mgish, but having spent a few years getting people doses of 0.3 or 0.4mg Xanaxes it definitely didn't seem unusual to pop that many pills. Ha, shit. Coma delusions go to weird places, I thought I was in the back of a truck for like 3 days, and sounds do seep through, but it makes no sense until you're almost out of it (day 4 or 5 I think, sounds on day 3, vivid delusions afterwards, and then you start to recognize voices but you're lost so they become characters in your delusions, until you wake up and the day it's fucked up). Doctor said that my tolerance may have had a hand at me not dying, good to know, but definitely not something you count on. Luckily I had a personality change and stopped fucking around and suddenly became way more meticulous but also a lot more detached, which works well for me, but definitely do your homework. Also don't overdose to try to effect a personality change by overdosing, I think this was just luck and technology working together with a bit of brain chemistry thrown in for good measure.

Although sometimes I still have moments of acute anxiety I feel like I am generally no longer a person that is constantly anxious. Xanax taught me how to be look at things in a positive light in every possible moment. Kicking it put hair my chest twice over, and being able to use it intermittently and not have it define my life in the end made me grow up, so I guess in the end if any of those companies want I'm both the best an worst example of what one drug can do to a person's life, good and bad, but certainly with the most impact possible.
Holy shit man! Thanks for sharing your experiences and it's great that you lived to tell the tales but...I would have to say your decisions were more reckless than ballsy.

I hope you can go easy on the benzo's in future man coz the dosages you spoke of are extremely risky for anyone.

Take care and go easy mate.
i do believe those are jim's younger days. he just sat for one Bar Exam. More to come.

so, whereas, i say: Lord, have mercy, I can tell u, as he has posted this info: jim is now about to be admitted to the practice of law.

He has conquered his ballsy ways.

One cannot practice law and be all messed up. The Bar of every state allows for counseling if one gets over their heads with any drinking or usage of meds.

But, damn, dude. You were a busy devil.

I stayed clean, despite bottles of one hundred or one thousand anything from my sister whom is a doctor, as I took my academic world very seriously. I needed the A plus grades. Being the top student was the only validation or love I felt at the time.

I suppose men were my "meds of choice" in me younger days.

But, jim is back on track, so, whereas, I am somewhat surprised he survived all that, I know he won't be blacking out in alleys anymore.

Whew. We can all relax about that now.

(And, breacher, the day the NROPs died--the No Records Online Pharmacies whom scripted u anything--we saw so many at go into serious withdrawal. And, they posted the amounts they were taking. Many of us just kept checking on these people. Terrified for them. Because, it turned out, that many at had extra records. Would get way more than a month's worth of meds. I was thoroughly shocked to see just how much some were taking. )
Angel  It is Well with My Soul  Angel
Well, this is all good news and I am relieved.

Jim, good luck with your Bar exam.
@Rumor, I am sorry about your father.  I cant imagine. My heart ached heearing that story.

@jimte, holy moly, you had me hysterical with the glass of water and Walmart.  And I'm glad the coma is over and you've came to your senses.   

As I've said before, I can tell you are one smart cookie.  I'm sure we'll hear from you soon that you've passed.
@kittycat, @charon, thank you. I am quite a bit older now and have lost both parents. It doesn't matter how old you are when it happens, my cousin and I lovingly welcome friends and family in the same situation to "The Orphans Club". No one knows you the way your parents do....not even your siblings.

@jimtje, you are damn lucky to be alive and making something of your life. You should be incredibly proud of yourself for making it through law school. The dropout/failure rate, as you and Charon know, is incredibly high for first years. I wish you nothing but the best, always.

I try to be helpful when I can and try to be quiet and listen when others know more me. I know Xanax tastes terrible, but have you tried putting it under your tongue and letting it dissolve? It may work slightly faster for you that way. I always have gum handy when I do that. In the alternative, if you can do a very slow taper to 1mg. The 2mg. will start to feel the way it used to. And you can supplement with Valium or Etizalom, as needed. As jimtje said, your mileage may very. R.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that’s why they call it the present.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 You can observe a lot by just watching. Yogi Berra
Rumor, i will definitely try that in the near future.  And i can live with the taste. (I will chase it with chocolate as a reward.) 
Chocolate is one of my very favorite things.
Had a chance to try alprazolam and clonazepam in many different forms and presses. Midazolam and Adinazolam are some of the only water soulble benzos. Anyone gotten a chance to try the latter the two?

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