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Recently had acute kidney failure and other setbacks
#1
Hello, all. I have been offline because both my husband and I were very sick. First, my husband starting having heart problems around New Year's -- he is 62 and has had heart problems for a long time.  He was in the hospital awhile as they treated some complications from stents he had put in last summer. Hopefully, he'll be OK now.

Also, he lost his job. He and some other workers were laid off right after New Year's.  (So, now neither of us has a job. I had to quit work 12 years ago, when I was 45, because my health problems leave me stuck in bed much of each day.) 

I often lose my appetite when I am stressed. I didn't realize it, but I must have been eating and drinking almost nothing while my husband was sick. My husband came home from the hospital to find me semi-conscious from acute renal failure. (This had nothing to do with any psychoactive drugs. However, diuretics I was on probably made the problem much worse.)


I was in the hospital about a week. Luckily, my kidneys started working again from a combination of medication they gave me, plus IV fluids. It was really very miserable for a few days there. I had a lot of fluid in my abdomen and breathing was hard work. 

I also had serious "brain fog" from all the toxins in my blood. I'm a bit worried about whether my brain is working as well as it did -- probably, but I'm not sure. 

I am feeling overwhelming stress from my illness, my husband's illness, and our medical bills and lack of income. Although I have Medicare and my husband had private insurance, we racked up about $8000 in deductibles and co-pays during our hospitalizations in January. My husband was told he could keep his employer-based insurance via a government plan called COBRA, but that turned out to be not true. So, we are scrambling, trying to find insurance that will pay for his meds and cover him if he needs to go back into the hospital. I have Medicare, but Medicare assumes the person has substantial financial resources. For example, one of the medications I'm on has a co-pay of $910 a month. I applied for MediCAID, the program for low-income people, but so far I've been turned down. 

I have been insisting to my husband that our only option is to sell our home. My husband says he agrees we me, but he is miserable about it and we are arguing a lot. I need some way for us to get along better. 

I know that I might not have a lot of time left to live, but what bothers me even more is feeling like my life has been a failure.  I was never able to have children, despite many years of fertility treatment and trying to adopt. I was able to get a PhD in the social sciences, but I was never able to get a full-time job, and then I had to quit due to my health. I have done a lot of writing, but can't get my work published. I am struggling with an overwhelming sense that my life has been meaningless and without purpose. 

I don't feel I know anyone else who is going through any of this. I want to find a support group for people with serious illnesses, but keep getting turned away because I don't have the same diagnosis as people in the group. 
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#2
Oh boy, I feel you.  I was considering my situation at this point in my life on this forum yesterday and I too became overwhelmed with all kinds of negative and sad emotions.  I just want you to know that I and probably all of us here empathize with you and wish you all the best and those among us who have a belief in God will perhaps be spurred on to pray for you, for yours, and for all those here in relatable situations.  I've prayed so just now.  Thank you for sharing and reminding me again that I am not alone.
Always look at the bright side of your life. 
Melvin Udall; As Good As It Gets.
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#3
(02-08-2020, 10:28 PM)derby2 Wrote: Oh boy, I feel you.  I was considering my situation at this point in my life on this forum yesterday and I too became overwhelmed with all kinds of negative and sad emotions.  I just want you to know that I and probably all of us here empathize with you and wish you all the best and those among us who have a belief in God will perhaps be spurred on to pray for you, for yours, and for all those here in relatable situations.  I've prayed so just now.  Thank you for sharing and reminding me again that I am not alone.
Thank you very much, Derby2.
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#4
Peony I don’t know ups except for the posts here. You got an unfair deal in life. As many others have. And I say why God. I can’t answer as only he knows. But you can take your time left to become closer to him. And this world is full of disease, war, violence. Your hope is in Jesus Christ and eternal life after this. I’m not saying to give up but when you realize what was our place here for. It barely lasts in time. A blip is all we are look foreword to heaven.
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