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Depressed about the end of a relationship
#1
I am in love with someone, and we don't really have anything in common.  We come from different countries, have vastly different opinions on things...yet I still love him.  Anyone been in this situation before?  Seems pretty likely that we will not last very long (It's been about 6 months now.) Do I just l just let this go?  I really hate being alone.
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#2
(11-05-2019, 02:49 PM)MrFussbudget Wrote: I am in love with someone, and we don't really have anything in common.  We come from different countries, have vastly different opinions on things...yet I still love him.  Anyone been in this situation before?  Seems pretty likely that we will not last very long (It's been about 6 months now.) Do I just l just let this go?  I really hate being alone.

If you feel good being with this person , and if the person feel the same, why not ? The only thing that really matter with a partner , is being there with the other need it . For have things in common and same opinions , you have friends .
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#3
No one's idea of an expert on relationships...ask around.

My new rule of personal relationship is do they make me feel comfortable around them? If yes then it really does not matter to my life if I agree with the about everything or how often we see each other is it good for me and my well-being?  Does their being in my life make me happier or is it too much work or makes me feel bad?

If I get along with them that is enough at this point-love can be a painful myth.  How about does this person make my life tolerable?

Aren't I a romantic-but this is what I now believe.  Chasing "love" can make you sick-but sometimes it is worth it just not to me anymore.
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#4
Seems like good advice from others.

Firstly, I get what you mean and the pain it causes. I have an unfortunate habit of falling in love with people who are unavailable, or we briefly get together and then they go back to a pre-existing relationship.

I would have a think about why you fear being alone. Maybe you could decide to spend time cultivating friendships. Humans need people to whom they feel psychologically close - that's a basic need and friends can fill that role. There is no law that says you have to be in a relationship! Right now I am single and I'll tell you there are advantages... I don't have to coordinate my diary with someone else the whole time, I can do what I like when I like, I can eat whatever I choose. Since I'm very self-critical I'm working on that because I think until I'm more comfortable with myself, it is difficult for others to be in a relationship with me. So by being single I can do some self-improvement and hopefully that will pay off at some point in the future with a better quality relationship. Even if it doesn't I'll still like myself more, so it is win/win. So if you do end up single for a while please don't treat it as a disaster - there are some benefits, especially if you look for them.

You seem to have a difficult decision, so you might try writing a list of pros and cons of staying in the relationship. Another trick is to toss a coin to chose for you - I'm totally serious. Lets say the coin toss indicates you should break up, now how do you feel and what is your immediate emotional response? Is it relief or a terrible sense of loss? Going the other way, if the coin says stay in the relationship, how does that make you feel? I know the coin toss sounds like a heartless joke, but it can help bring your true emotions to the surface.

Good luck!
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