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Days when it is difficult to move? lazy? or depressed?
#21
Wow Fury that's awful. I can't imagine. I hate when people use visitation as punishment to spouses. Nobody wins. It's awful for the parents and awful for the kids.
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#22
There is so much good advice on this thread...making lists is good and getting back into hobbies...just going out for a long walk each day really helps. It's just getting that first bit of inspiration to do it!

I really feel for you yellowdog and furyan66 and hope things get better for you soon.

Just logging onto this forum each day really helps.

Thank you.

JW4
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#23
(09-07-2017, 01:17 PM)FirePlaces Wrote: Furyan66,  it just breaks my heart that your time with your little girl is so limited.  

I wonder if you could maybe find a job closer to her as you mentioned needing to find a new job anyway.

Hey FirePlaces,

Been trying for 17 years to move closer. To find an actual career that I could make a living off of in such a "rural" location is almost impossible. If you are lucky maybe $30,000 a year with my education in the area she lives it.

My big problem I am 50 years old and only have an associates degree but a TON of practical experience. I have worked as a network engineer with a major petroleum company for 12 years so I need something that reads Bachelors degree or equivalent work experience. I would love to up my education to a bachelors degree but the 2 back to back divorces It forced me into bankruptcy and I am unable to get financial support to back a bachelors degree and I defaulted on my first student loan and have to have that completely paid before I can get the financial support to go back to get the bachelor's degree.

Somedayz it just gets to be too much to think about and those are the dayz its almost too difficult to get out of bed.

Peace All

Fury
"Another Day In This Carnival Of Souls"
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#24
ughh I have been offered to do a short stint as a dancer, I have worked with this organisation before and they have strict rules, NO alchohol , practice in day despite already knowing the routines.

Ans you have to look the part ( They have hair stylist and make up artist and Ive been told I scrub up well)


The only time I danced under the influence of drugs was when I had a legit inhury and used codeine that made me itch like mad, the routine was very easy so no one noticed.

I don't think I could dance complicated routines under anything. apparently price and m Jackson managed too.

on one hand the strict way we are treaed ( we have a bed time I kid you not) and having a clear stricture may jolt be out of this, on the other hand I may fail. I have a good reputation and some organisation contact me.
it in a way Ic can be cut throat, there are younger more flexible dancers coming on the scene.
I have lost a lot of my flexibility. oddly I don't feel nevous as I am busy concentrating on the dancing and I don't pay any attention to the audience or think that so many people are watching.
I no longer get much pleasure or excitement I see it as a task to get through.

to the outside world no one would guess I am really struggling. people assume I must have a lot of self confidence, which is NOT the case.

I sonetimes take certain meds and just knowing I have them there gives me some comfort. I think if I took them the temptation would be there. I also don't know who will be in the group.

some people get replaced during rehearsals or for not looking the part ( usually gaining weight) or for breaking the rules. its important to maintain a good reputation.

I'm thinking of explain this to my GP, as my mind is affecting my employment possibilities surely they would take more notice?

Also my bmi is 20, but because I dropped areound 40 pounds and gained it back quickly, so I don't have much muscle tone. I am skinny fat.

when I was better I had a bmi of 19/20 but I had an athelectic frame and a very toned and tight body.

I'm in 2 minds about this. I was thinking of using trams for an energy boost?

are there any other dancers on this board? I feel like I cant express the situation properly has many people don't know the lingo/ terms and difficulties etc.
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#25
Wow yellowdog this sounds like a real adventure for you.
That is very interesting you being a dancer.
You explained it pretty good I think.

It is a difficult call for you it sounds like to try for it or just say no.
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#26
I Tried ti quote you but basically I have tried the routines using trams and I can do it fine. so I may go for it.
The routunes are simple
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#27
well I worked out that you CAN dance under the influence of trams and smaller amounts of opiates.

you CANNOT dance under the influence of Xanax lol.

I decided to go through with it, mostly because the Rotuine and social atmosphere may help me get out of this funk.

good luck to everyone else going through this.
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#28
Hi yellow dog.
I remember you thinking about this.
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#29
lol yea u cant do much under a lot of xanax
47           "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" - The Joker           47
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#30
nj42086 TRUE! but it is not until afterwards 2mg of xans you realize and watch the it back you realize you have the dancing ability of Taylor Swift, her backing dancers often dance in FRONT of her LOL!
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