Days when it is difficult to move? lazy? or depressed?

[Rafterman]

Hey Yellow Dog,
Just wanted to say I've been thru periods like that... fortunately now it's a little better. For about 2 years ... especially the last half... I would spend days in bed, couldn't get up to do even the things I enjoyed...  Planned sorting my affairs a few times, ect. It was really hard and really shit. The thing that changed it for me was cutting out (down) on the alcohol... Cuz I really was self medicating after a failed marriage and my family being complete douche canoes. Like, it sucked. It still sucks, but I figure if I'm stuck here for now, I may as well try to make it a little less miserable. Again, it's really hard cuz along with my predisposition to depression, I'm on methadone (130mg/day) and it kills my energy and my sex drive. Working out 4x per week and trying to eat a balanced, vegetarian diet helps me too, tho. Anyway, best of luck to you, I'm here to talk about whatever... Props to you for being honest about it, too... I've been pretty massively embarrassed about my condition too, but really, I guess we shouldn't be.. it's a medical condition putting us in the situation not like it's our choice ?

So true what you say about the stigma, Maladie. The brain in simply one of many organs in the body. No one is embarrassed to have a heart problem or kidney trouble, etc. I think that the stigma has softened a bit throughout the last few decades, but will always exist. So many people have now experienced anxiety, depression and other mood regulation disorders that many have have come to see for themselves that a person who is experiening these things is a victim. No different than a person who has cancer or any other malady. I wish that 100% of people understood that.  RM

[Naomi]

RM - that is something I feel so strongly about. Whenever people think having a MH related disorder is you "being stressed" it makes me so mad. When someone has a physical condition people are always full of empathy and understanding and compassion. MH problems get written off too quickly and it makes me so upset. It's like because they can't see that you're "sick" that it's not real or not as life altering. It's frustrating.

[Silver Sage]

It is so frustrating when people dont realize how difficult it can be sometimes. I hear"just get over it " often. If I could just get over it dont you think I would! Without a Dr I am left to research on my own. Its not a matter of depression for me (I think) its a matter of natural energy and motivation. I have been exploring some nootropics and have had some improvement. I am able to start my day and actually feel productive. Interest is returning and some days I feel "normal " lol I am learning to not be so hard on myself. Makes for a much better day.  Peace and love to all

[happyvibe]

Hey Silver- I struggle with this on a daily basis too. I'm my own worst critic. Little by little I'm trying to adopt a more laissez faire attitude. we need to be kind to ourselves.

[Rafterman]

It is so frustrating when people dont realize how difficult it can be sometimes. I hear"just get over it " often. If I could just get over it dont you think I would! Without a Dr I am left to research on my own. Its not a matter of depression for me (I think) its a matter of natural energy and motivation. I have been exploring some nootropics and have had some improvement. I am able to start my day and actually feel productive. Interest is returning and some days I feel "normal " lol I am learning to not be so hard on myself. Makes for a much better day.  Peace and love to all

I know exactly what you are saying, Silver. Nothing in the world is harder to do than be good to ourselves and to forgive ourselves. So difficult not to be self critical about everything. And just how is a person supposed to put their best foot forward when the script that is running continually in their subconscious is telling them that they are guilty of everything in the world? The most frustrating part if that the attack comes from within. We are our own worst enemy in this. We hold ourselves prisoner. Like many ways our own subconscious holds us captive, it reminds me of the Eagles song where the late/great Glenn Frey sings, "Now often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key".

[Glousck]

So I recently began a new job and have never been good in the mornings, my mental health strangely seems to improve as the day goes on, in fact! There has often been times over the last few weeks where, had I not put some of the below points into place, I don't know if I would have made it into work. This is more as a result of mental health though, I feel like the word 'lazy' is somewhat of a common buzzword thrown around by people who have never had to deal with unrelenting physical sweating, trembling hands and a fast heartbeat upon just waking up. But for those of us who do and want to tame the beast, below are things I've found to be exceptionally helpful in

1. Preparation the night before: are my clothes ironed and ready? Is my key fob, my shoes, my make up and hairbrush all where they need to be? Is my alarm set? Am I in bed by a reasonable time? If I can answer yes to all these questions (modify them so they apply to your individual circumstances) then I know I'll feel less anxious upon waking up - instead of having a messy puzzle in front of me to solve, k now have all the puzzle pieces located and ready to put in place. This lowers anticipatory stressors that may unconsciously rise as a result of lack of preparation.

2. Comfortable sleeping/waking environment: This is is mostly pretty simply and one I'm sure we've all heard many times before. I have struggled to get to sleep since I was a young child and still am incredibly envious of those who can switch off in a matter of seconds and wake up feeling instantly recharged 6-8 hours later! I have all of the lights in my house switched off, my bed as comfortable as possible and my blackout blinds all the way down. This last one has been a game changer for me, I used to have curtains that let unnatural light from outside street lamps in and affected my quality of sleep. I only found of how much it was having a negative impact until I put up blackout blinds and actually felt twice as recharged upon waking up! Sometimes it's the smallest things we don't take into account as to why our poor sleep could result in morning anxiety and struggling to get out of bed.

3. Think about mornings differently: If you're waking up to an alarm where you wake up earlier than you otherwise would, the thing (whether that be work, school or a doctors appointment) can soon become the object of strong resentment from you. I'm waking up for this stupid course/Jon/appointment, why can't I allow myself one more hour in bed? What we forget to realise is that waking up at the same, sensible time every/most days is something we should instead see more as an alarm that helps us into a routine to navigate our day with and actually help our anxiety. Yeah, if I slept in a couple more hours than I should do tomorrow I may feel great there and then, but I'm missing out on the satisfaction of getting up, being a part of a healthy routine and going into work, I'll feel a lot crappier overall.

4. Morning 'me time': Linking back to number 3, the way I helped to change my view of early mornings was by ensuring upon waking I engage in enjoyable activities before I actually get out of bed. I set my alarm 15 minutes before I need to get out of bed, I have a pill from my bedside packet of Pro Plus (caffeine tablets), I listen to music I have on a morning playlist that gets me pumped and puts a smile on my face, I message a couple of friends on Facebook, and then I'm good to go. By having this little morning ritual, I don't feel like the morning is something to be annoyed at, or scared of, because I have the power to make it a lot less painless this way.

5. Destressing the night before: If you're not letting your stress out in healthy ways, it becomes an angry caged animal that can come out to play in the mornings, leaving you to feel that getting out of bed is almost impossible. You know better than I will hoe you can best let yourself destress. Going to the gym, taking a warm bubble bath, meditating, seeing friends/family the evening before etc...learn what works for you. Get your stress out before it builds up in ways that may feel out of your control. Having that control back is an immensely incredible feeling.

6. Routine: by far the most important. I've covered this in points above and I feel everything is so much easier to tackle once you start to put together a routine in place. If you're rushing to bed at vastly different times every night, not having a morning routine prepared and not thinking of a plan for the next day, life seems a lot less manageable. I have struggled with organisational,skills all my life, so if I can put together a routine for myself - then I believe anyone can!

7. And lastly...gratitude. Think of things the night before waking up that you're grateful for. Think of the people in your life you're grateful for. Think of the things that made you smile. Think of the positives that can come about when you wake up tomorrow. If you're not used to this type of thinking, at first you may have to fake it somewhat, but with practice feelings of gratitude can become very real. Going back to 6, it's all about a routine, once you start to practice a habit and keep practicing it, the habit becomes easier in nature to reinforce.


Edit: I just want to add that I know how having a mental health issue can render things like de-stressing and routine to become almost impossible. I have gone through periods of time where going about my day in a structured way has felt impossible. It has taken me a long time and a combination of an understanding group of friends and family members in my life alongside one-to-one and group therapy. Without these things I would not even be able to contemplate having a 'structure' to my life at all. There is sometimes no magic tip or trick to help you defeat that crushing feeling and I really understand how that feels. If you do not have any forms of therapy in your life I would strongly encourage you to change that, therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists etc are not there to judge you, they are there to help you. If the people in your life make you feel bad about yourself, perhaps it's time to cut toxic people out. This has taken me around 10 months and hasn't been easy so I respect that this isn't exactly an easy project to accomplish.

Take it one day at a time and give yourself a pat on the back for the little things. Be kind to yourself, folks.

[Rafterman]

Hey Glousck,
What a phenomenal post. You cover everything with such insight. Nothing compares to posts like these because the information conveyed in them comes from a lifetime of personal experience and trial and error. I printed out your post and taped it to my nightstand. Just incredibly useful information. Thank you so much for taking the time to put create it and put it on here. It will help many.  Regards, RM

[Naomi]

Number 3 I definitely need to find a way to work on. I can't seem to see mornings as something I dread and you're right, it makes going to work the thing I hate. Anyone have any additional tips on this?

[Linville]

Glousck I also want to tell u thanks for posting

What a wonderful helpful post , thank you for putting it up!

[Pineapplepen]

What an awesome post. I realize I am not alone.