11-25-2017, 01:51 PM
My seizure (the first I've ever experienced) is still so recent, less than two months ago, that details are still coming back to me on an almost daily basis.
In brief, my psychiatrist of fifteen years had some sort of change of heart regarding prescribing benz@s, he even sent a notice out via mail to all of his patients indicating that SSRI's and Gabapentin were all he would be prescribing in the future. I received that letter a week or so before my next appointment was due, and kept the appointment in order to inquire as to whether he would be willing to taper me from the 3mg @lpr@zol@m (1mg, 3x/day) using the Ashton method or even just a simple slow reduction of the alp dosage over three months or so.
He flatly refused. I was furious, as I knew the dangers of attempting a "cold turkey" disuse of alp, given it is short acting and leaves the system pretty quickly, and the dosage he had me on for fifteen years was certainly high enough to cause all sorts of nasty side effects. I left his office still furious, but not displaying it (I will no doubt need to have my records transferred from him to a new doctor when I have insurance once again, and life has taught me that burning bridges is unwise in any event).
It took less than two weeks for my system to go haywire. As with most seizure victims I have no memory of the event at all, one moment I was sinking a new mailbox post in my front yard, and the next I awoke in an ambulance with an EMT asking me a barrage of questions. My face, wrist, and chest hurt terribly, both the EMT and I were worried I'd had a heart attack or stroke, but my next door neighbor told me that she'd seen the entire episode from her driveway, where she was buckling her grandchildren into the car. Apparently I struck my right arm violently with my left hand, beat my chest like Tarzan of the apes, then pitched face forward into the street (a cul de sac, thank goodness, not the main road), breaking my nose, my wrist, and a few ribs. The road rash was so bad I might have fallen off of a rice burner at 120mph.
I was kept in the hospital for observation for three nights and three days, and here is the real kicker: Even though I explained to the attending neurologist that my psychiatrist had cut me abruptly off from a larger than average dosage of alp (tolerance builds up over the years, as we all know) and refused to help me taper with a longer acting med in the same class, he (the neurologist) wrote it up as a "seizure, cause unknown", and reported the seizure to the DMV, suspending my driver's license for 6 months.
I live in terror every day that another seizure will manifest, I get those awful "zaps" in my brain almost every day, and I have episodes of being unable to balance while I walk, as well as truly frightening near blackouts when I stand up too quickly from a chair. Living alone doesn't help, of course, and my children (all long grown and gone, with children of their own) live too far away to check on me by anything but phone.
I have three measly 10mg v@lium stashed away for emergencies (panic attacks), but my GAD is worse than it was before I ever started therapy or treatment, and of course as a member of the "funemployed", with no health insurance, I'm left with no other option than to order from an IOP. I despair of the long wait to receive from overseas operations, but I fully understand the forum's rules concerning access to vendors who can deliver more quickly, so I'll just continue with my five posts per day until I'm able to see what other options I have.
In short, I would recommend none of the following:
1) Quitting benz@s (or SSRIs) "cold turkey"
2) Neglecting to maintain a month's supply of the medications you need in case of emergency
3) Having seizures
In brief, my psychiatrist of fifteen years had some sort of change of heart regarding prescribing benz@s, he even sent a notice out via mail to all of his patients indicating that SSRI's and Gabapentin were all he would be prescribing in the future. I received that letter a week or so before my next appointment was due, and kept the appointment in order to inquire as to whether he would be willing to taper me from the 3mg @lpr@zol@m (1mg, 3x/day) using the Ashton method or even just a simple slow reduction of the alp dosage over three months or so.
He flatly refused. I was furious, as I knew the dangers of attempting a "cold turkey" disuse of alp, given it is short acting and leaves the system pretty quickly, and the dosage he had me on for fifteen years was certainly high enough to cause all sorts of nasty side effects. I left his office still furious, but not displaying it (I will no doubt need to have my records transferred from him to a new doctor when I have insurance once again, and life has taught me that burning bridges is unwise in any event).
It took less than two weeks for my system to go haywire. As with most seizure victims I have no memory of the event at all, one moment I was sinking a new mailbox post in my front yard, and the next I awoke in an ambulance with an EMT asking me a barrage of questions. My face, wrist, and chest hurt terribly, both the EMT and I were worried I'd had a heart attack or stroke, but my next door neighbor told me that she'd seen the entire episode from her driveway, where she was buckling her grandchildren into the car. Apparently I struck my right arm violently with my left hand, beat my chest like Tarzan of the apes, then pitched face forward into the street (a cul de sac, thank goodness, not the main road), breaking my nose, my wrist, and a few ribs. The road rash was so bad I might have fallen off of a rice burner at 120mph.
I was kept in the hospital for observation for three nights and three days, and here is the real kicker: Even though I explained to the attending neurologist that my psychiatrist had cut me abruptly off from a larger than average dosage of alp (tolerance builds up over the years, as we all know) and refused to help me taper with a longer acting med in the same class, he (the neurologist) wrote it up as a "seizure, cause unknown", and reported the seizure to the DMV, suspending my driver's license for 6 months.
I live in terror every day that another seizure will manifest, I get those awful "zaps" in my brain almost every day, and I have episodes of being unable to balance while I walk, as well as truly frightening near blackouts when I stand up too quickly from a chair. Living alone doesn't help, of course, and my children (all long grown and gone, with children of their own) live too far away to check on me by anything but phone.
I have three measly 10mg v@lium stashed away for emergencies (panic attacks), but my GAD is worse than it was before I ever started therapy or treatment, and of course as a member of the "funemployed", with no health insurance, I'm left with no other option than to order from an IOP. I despair of the long wait to receive from overseas operations, but I fully understand the forum's rules concerning access to vendors who can deliver more quickly, so I'll just continue with my five posts per day until I'm able to see what other options I have.
In short, I would recommend none of the following:
1) Quitting benz@s (or SSRIs) "cold turkey"
2) Neglecting to maintain a month's supply of the medications you need in case of emergency
3) Having seizures
A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
-- Saint Basil
-- Saint Basil