07-13-2018, 08:21 AM
My seizures.
Awhile back now I had an experience with seizures due to withdrawals, this is one of the few times I have shared this apart from with close family and doctors who helped me, so sorry for its long windedness but its how I express
.
My background that led to it:
When i was very very young (11) I was diagnosed with adhd and aspergers disorder, due to behavioural issues in school and difficulty communicating with people. This led to me prescribed a stupidly high dose of ritalin and later concerta, along with a nighttime dose of catapres(clonidine). As I was prescribed these from such a young age I never developed the sleep hygiene habits that most people do, And I still struggle with my sleeping.
After spending my whole childhood and young adulthood dealing with my sleeping problems unsuccessfully I went to a doctor around 5 years ago for help. He diagnosed me with severe chronic insomnia and Restless Leg Syndrome.
From this I was prescribed diazepam, but wasnt informed about its addictive nature, and i didnt have much experience with benzos and the troubles that come from them.
After a year of being prescribed this I had developed a physical and mental addiction and was taking huge doses and repeated doses frequently, I realised what had happened and decided to quit. Beinh very ignorant I went cold turkey. I moved back into my mother's house as she is a highly trained nurse and said she would keep an eye on me.
After a week I started experiencing extreme rebound insomnia, and after about 4 nights and days without sleeping I started to have severe paranoia and started to experience a form of delirium, which for me were extremely realistic hallucinations that I was unable to see for what they were at the time.
The night I started having the delirium my muscles and body were feeling extremely tight and tense, and I was having intense headaches and couldnt calm myself down at all.
When I had the first seizure I had no idea what was happening, and luckily my mother did, she had the foresight of expecting this might happen, and had retrieved the diazepam I had thrown away without telling me. She gave me a few 5s sublingual and within 10minutes my body had started to calm down.
I was stubborn and insisted on continuing the cold turkey, but after the second seizure a day and a half later I gave in and went to the doctor and began a tapering regime.
Nowadays I have been through so many different meds to combat The insomnia, and have made incredible progress in changing my sleep hygiene.
I have made an effort to become highly educated on benzos, sedatives, tranquilisers, pharmacology metabolites, pharmacodynamics etc etc. And although I am prescribed benzos again, i make sure to only take very short acting ones, with no active metabolites to prevent build up, and I only take them when absolutely necessary to make sure I dont become dependant, and I only have them when I have reached my second or third night of sleeplessness, mainly because the side effects of lack of sleep scare the crappers out of me. Such as: disembodied whispering and voices, shadow people, random bursts of smoke with a hissing sound etc.
So thats my story, I was uneducated and ignorant. I went through hell. But the silver lining was ending up dedicated to understanding everything about the nature of addiction, insomnia, sleep hygiene and all things related.
Awhile back now I had an experience with seizures due to withdrawals, this is one of the few times I have shared this apart from with close family and doctors who helped me, so sorry for its long windedness but its how I express
.My background that led to it:
When i was very very young (11) I was diagnosed with adhd and aspergers disorder, due to behavioural issues in school and difficulty communicating with people. This led to me prescribed a stupidly high dose of ritalin and later concerta, along with a nighttime dose of catapres(clonidine). As I was prescribed these from such a young age I never developed the sleep hygiene habits that most people do, And I still struggle with my sleeping.
After spending my whole childhood and young adulthood dealing with my sleeping problems unsuccessfully I went to a doctor around 5 years ago for help. He diagnosed me with severe chronic insomnia and Restless Leg Syndrome.
From this I was prescribed diazepam, but wasnt informed about its addictive nature, and i didnt have much experience with benzos and the troubles that come from them.
After a year of being prescribed this I had developed a physical and mental addiction and was taking huge doses and repeated doses frequently, I realised what had happened and decided to quit. Beinh very ignorant I went cold turkey. I moved back into my mother's house as she is a highly trained nurse and said she would keep an eye on me.
After a week I started experiencing extreme rebound insomnia, and after about 4 nights and days without sleeping I started to have severe paranoia and started to experience a form of delirium, which for me were extremely realistic hallucinations that I was unable to see for what they were at the time.
The night I started having the delirium my muscles and body were feeling extremely tight and tense, and I was having intense headaches and couldnt calm myself down at all.
When I had the first seizure I had no idea what was happening, and luckily my mother did, she had the foresight of expecting this might happen, and had retrieved the diazepam I had thrown away without telling me. She gave me a few 5s sublingual and within 10minutes my body had started to calm down.
I was stubborn and insisted on continuing the cold turkey, but after the second seizure a day and a half later I gave in and went to the doctor and began a tapering regime.
Nowadays I have been through so many different meds to combat The insomnia, and have made incredible progress in changing my sleep hygiene.
I have made an effort to become highly educated on benzos, sedatives, tranquilisers, pharmacology metabolites, pharmacodynamics etc etc. And although I am prescribed benzos again, i make sure to only take very short acting ones, with no active metabolites to prevent build up, and I only take them when absolutely necessary to make sure I dont become dependant, and I only have them when I have reached my second or third night of sleeplessness, mainly because the side effects of lack of sleep scare the crappers out of me. Such as: disembodied whispering and voices, shadow people, random bursts of smoke with a hissing sound etc.
So thats my story, I was uneducated and ignorant. I went through hell. But the silver lining was ending up dedicated to understanding everything about the nature of addiction, insomnia, sleep hygiene and all things related.
Code:
"Never regret thy fall,
O Icarus of the fearless flight
For the greatest tragedy of them all
Is never to feel the burning light."