sad

[Chickenzilla]

I'm sad... the reason? it's really simple.. I cant stop thinking about this girl I broke up with 6 years ago.. and I think of her everyday... 80% of the reason i take benzos..  sigh.. if she could just talk to me?  sigh.. fuck it I don't care.. I feel like crying, and I can feel them . ya  that's my life..   yeah 32 year old men can cry about a girl they haven't seen in 6 years..  Also i'm not ugly.. not by a long  shot. but i dont care.. because... theyll never understand me like her.. anyway.. k thats alll

[IceWizard]

I feel ya man... Those thingz can take a toll on ya....

Ice

[Rumor]

Hi C,
Sorry that you are feeling so sad. I think most people feel like they messed up a relationship and it was the one. Hind sight is 20/20as they say. As an older woman, I feel like I will never find, the one, again. People tell you all those cliches....there are other fish in the sea, if they really were the one for you, it would have wòrked out, you need to move on with your life, etc....but that hole in your heart, always seems to be there. And the thoughts in your head, what if I had done this or didn't do that. I get it.

But when you get to my age and you look back, you really realize how short life is. And you sort of have to decide how you are going to live this brief time we have on this planet. The hole in your heart may never go away. But don't throw your life away. Dude, I would give almost anything to be 32 again and do some things very differently than I did. But I don't get to change all these things I did òr didn't do in my life with a do over.


Please try to find a way to make your life less sad and not grow old with regrets. I didn't say to stop thinking about her. I am saying, try to find people and things to do to make you less sad and give yourself more moments of happiness.

There are  a lot  of people here for support and to talk to, if you are open, you can learn something from every one of us, because we all have our stuggles. It was very brave of you to post what is in your heart. I wish you nothing but good things, Rumor 

[TamDee]

I'm speaking from experience when I say that if you were the one to walk away, you don't want to go back.  I walked away from a relationship after 3yrs. I begged to go back..... Well, after 6 months I remembered why I left...... I ended up miserable for another 2 1/2 years because I didn't want to hurt him again.  It took some time but we're good friends now.  We finally realized it was never meant to be forever, it was only meant for us to be there for each other for that moment in time. (I'm the godmother to his kids)

[classemlaff]

Garth, from Wayne's World said it best.  "Get over it, go out with somebody else."

[Chickenzilla]

Thank you everyone.. I read every response, and I appreciate the ones from the women. I know I'm idealizing... I've written her a lot.. eventually she stop responding once I sent her some flowers to her work to say I'm sorry.. Then she cut contact..

I just want to be her friend and talk to her.. see how shes feeling and doing.. she won't be my friend.. damnit..


If she would just say Hi back, just once. it would heal my heart so much.. Thank you for listening to a sad lonely guy.. 

I've tried to date new girls..  they just aren't the same, none of them...  This might ruin me.. :


Thanks again.. I appreciate the kind words.. They actually do help. 

[IceWizard]

Hey there Zilla....

TamDee I think hit the ole "nail on the head"...

Through the years, I've had "a few" chicks/girls/women and I've noticed that, right after we "split the blanket" I was a freakin basket case... Even when I was the one that run them off...

Like my first wife... She was younger than me and I was eat up with her... Even going as far as going to Mexico to tie the knot (that was a fiasco) ... Anyway we finally did... Had one boy.. And stuff started to happen... There was wrong on both sides, no saints were involved...

When I had finally had enough, I told her she had to go and I was absolutely devastated!! I wallowed in my misery for weeks, until a very good friend of mine (my brother by another mother) told me ,"Hey man, snap the *%$# out of this sh!t! Come on, let's go to Cardi's!" (big club in Houston) ...

Anyway, I didn't want to go, but to shut him up I went.... You know, I met a few nice girls, got a couple-0-numbers, but I still couldn't get past that one I'd run off...

It did start getting easier though, just had to put myself out there...

That was many years ago... Son grew up...

We have a better "friendship" now than we ever did...

Moral to this novella...

Don't ever give up on yourself... Prove to you that you DO deserve better and NEVER EVER forget why y'all split to begin with... This hurt will wain.... Going back hardly ever get better only worse...

Ice

[Roses]

Hi zilla. As a mom of 2 sons, almost your age, I have to tell you that my heart goes out to you. My son, 29 is going through something similar & it has devastated him. And me too , since my son's girlfriend of 11 years, lived with me for years. I loved her like a daughter but she left my son. It was 9 months ago & my son is still depressed.

I tell you this because I really feel your pain. But you have already been given terrific advice by everyone & I agree zilla, you really should move on with your life. I know you will meet someone but not as long as you are pining away for your ex. It's time to put her memory out of your every waking thought. And do your best to make a nice life for yourself. I just know you will meet another nice girlfriend. Best Wishes....

[IceCreamMan]

'Zilla, maybe at the time you wrote this you were feeling down and full of regrets. I feel for you. Losing someone you love sucks.. I can only offer my experience. First of all this is my story not yours but it may apply to you. There may have been more to it than just the benzos. You may have done everything she wanted and there may have not just been something right. You have to face it... You probably blame many things on yourself (6 years as evidenced) I can offer a suggestion. You mentioned you want to talk to her. You can try to become friends with her. You would probably try to convince her that friendship is all you want,, and stick to it. I am going to PM you

[barq2]

Hi 'zilla,
I really feel for you. It is the hardest thing in the world. I was crushed by a break up years ago. It felt like no one else could measure up. But actually I didn't give them a chance. Although the raw hurt of the break up got better with time, I also started to idolise my ex. I forgot the tensions in our relationship.

Be gentle with yourself. But don't put your life on hold. I say this as someone who really understands how breakups aren't just about the immediate period afterwards, but can genuinely take years to adjust and accept someone is no longer part of your life (even as friends).

I wish you all the best.