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So upsetting - I've been deleted
#1
I think some of you will remember me as Damante. I joined in October and have been slowly but surely posting to various threads and hopefully making friends on the forum.  I had received several "helpful" votes on a couple of my posts to the threads on Migraine and on Sleep problems and had a couple of interactions with other members - Audrey Hepburn was one - which I felt were very positive. Then I had to go into hospital for an operation at the beginning of last week. So I wasn't able to post all week.  I got home yesterday and today tried to sign in. I found I could no longer access my account as Damante. As my head is still a bit all over the place after my operation,  I thought perhaps I had made a silly mistake and used the wrong email address to try to log in. And when I put in my other address, I was recognised - and I realised that, quite by mistake, I had accidentally set up two accounts while trying to register. I had never used this account until today, I had no idea it even existed.  It was only by coming on to the site using this other account that I could see that my whole presence on the site as Damante seems to have been wiped off while I was away in hospital.  And I have now read the warnings to members who do not post.  But I was posting. I had got up to around 15 posts and the ones I had offered were, I felt, mostly heartfelt and positive.  So I wasn't posting lots of short ones but the ones I did post were thoughtful and really totally sincere and from the heart.  I cannot describe how upset this has left me feeling. I feel rejected, as if what I had to offer just wasn't good enough.  Honestly, is this really the impression you want people to have here?  I fear that this account may now get deleted and I will never know what has happened to me further to this. Very sad indeed.
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#2
(11-28-2015, 10:38 PM)Rose5555 Wrote: I think some of you will remember me as Damante. I joined in October and have been slowly but surely posting to various threads and hopefully making friends on the forum.  I had received several "helpful" votes on a couple of my posts to the threads on Migraine and on Sleep problems and had a couple of interactions with other members - Audrey Hepburn was one - which I felt were very positive. Then I had to go into hospital for an operation at the beginning of last week. So I wasn't able to post all week.  I got home yesterday and today tried to sign in. I found I could no longer access my account as Damante. As my head is still a bit all over the place after my operation,  I thought perhaps I had made a silly mistake and used the wrong email address to try to log in. And when I put in my other address, I was recognised - and I realised that, quite by mistake, I had accidentally set up two accounts while trying to register. I had never used this account until today, I had no idea it even existed.  It was only by coming on to the site using this other account that I could see that my whole presence on the site as Damante seems to have been wiped off while I was away in hospital.  And I have now read the warnings to members who do not post.  But I was posting. I had got up to around 15 posts and the ones I had offered were, I felt, mostly heartfelt and positive.  So I wasn't posting lots of short ones but the ones I did post were thoughtful and really totally sincere and from the heart.  I cannot describe how upset this has left me feeling. I feel rejected, as if what I had to offer just wasn't good enough.  Honestly, is this really the impression you want people to have here?  I fear that this account may now get deleted and I will never know what has happened to me further to this. Very sad indeed.

http://ioplist.org/announcements.php?aid=4 

Read this before posting any further or before blaming anyone.
The only way to know how strong you are is to keep testing your limits.
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#3
(11-28-2015, 10:53 PM)ADMIN OF STEEL Wrote:
(11-28-2015, 10:38 PM)Rose5555 Wrote: I think some of you will remember me as Damante. I joined in October and have been slowly but surely posting to various threads and hopefully making friends on the forum.  I had received several "helpful" votes on a couple of my posts to the threads on Migraine and on Sleep problems and had a couple of interactions with other members - Audrey Hepburn was one - which I felt were very positive. Then I had to go into hospital for an operation at the beginning of last week. So I wasn't able to post all week.  I got home yesterday and today tried to sign in. I found I could no longer access my account as Damante. As my head is still a bit all over the place after my operation,  I thought perhaps I had made a silly mistake and used the wrong email address to try to log in. And when I put in my other address, I was recognised - and I realised that, quite by mistake, I had accidentally set up two accounts while trying to register. I had never used this account until today, I had no idea it even existed.  It was only by coming on to the site using this other account that I could see that my whole presence on the site as Damante seems to have been wiped off while I was away in hospital.  And I have now read the warnings to members who do not post.  But I was posting. I had got up to around 15 posts and the ones I had offered were, I felt, mostly heartfelt and positive.  So I wasn't posting lots of short ones but the ones I did post were thoughtful and really totally sincere and from the heart.  I cannot describe how upset this has left me feeling. I feel rejected, as if what I had to offer just wasn't good enough.  Honestly, is this really the impression you want people to have here?  I fear that this account may now get deleted and I will never know what has happened to me further to this. Very sad indeed.

http://ioplist.org/announcements.php?aid=4 

Read this before posting any further or before blaming anyone.

I'm not trying to blame anyone and I am sorry I didn't make the numbers of posts that I should have.  But the posts I did make came from my heart and were positive and helpful. Had I realised the count was so strict, I could have posted nonsense and fluff every day but I hope that what I posted was genuine and thoughtful. I am very sad that this has happened. That is all I am saying.
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#4
(11-28-2015, 11:04 PM)Rose5555 Wrote:
(11-28-2015, 10:53 PM)ADMIN OF STEEL Wrote:
(11-28-2015, 10:38 PM)Rose5555 Wrote: I think some of you will remember me as Damante. I joined in October and have been slowly but surely posting to various threads and hopefully making friends on the forum.  I had received several "helpful" votes on a couple of my posts to the threads on Migraine and on Sleep problems and had a couple of interactions with other members - Audrey Hepburn was one - which I felt were very positive. Then I had to go into hospital for an operation at the beginning of last week. So I wasn't able to post all week.  I got home yesterday and today tried to sign in. I found I could no longer access my account as Damante. As my head is still a bit all over the place after my operation,  I thought perhaps I had made a silly mistake and used the wrong email address to try to log in. And when I put in my other address, I was recognised - and I realised that, quite by mistake, I had accidentally set up two accounts while trying to register. I had never used this account until today, I had no idea it even existed.  It was only by coming on to the site using this other account that I could see that my whole presence on the site as Damante seems to have been wiped off while I was away in hospital.  And I have now read the warnings to members who do not post.  But I was posting. I had got up to around 15 posts and the ones I had offered were, I felt, mostly heartfelt and positive.  So I wasn't posting lots of short ones but the ones I did post were thoughtful and really totally sincere and from the heart.  I cannot describe how upset this has left me feeling. I feel rejected, as if what I had to offer just wasn't good enough.  Honestly, is this really the impression you want people to have here?  I fear that this account may now get deleted and I will never know what has happened to me further to this. Very sad indeed.

http://ioplist.org/announcements.php?aid=4 

Read this before posting any further or before blaming anyone.

I'm not trying to blame anyone and I am sorry I didn't make the numbers of posts that I should have.  But the posts I did make came from my heart and were positive and helpful. Had I realised the count was so strict, I could have posted nonsense and fluff every day but I hope that what I posted was genuine and thoughtful. I am very sad that this has happened. That is all I am saying.

We do realize you are here to make posts, But we want members to actively post here. Even 1 Post per 45 days saves your account. But that has to be in the On Topic Area. Not the Off Topic Area.
The only way to know how strong you are is to keep testing your limits.
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#5
(11-28-2015, 11:14 PM)ADMIN OF STEEL Wrote:
(11-28-2015, 11:04 PM)Rose5555 Wrote:
(11-28-2015, 10:53 PM)ADMIN OF STEEL Wrote:
(11-28-2015, 10:38 PM)Rose5555 Wrote: I think some of you will remember me as Damante. I joined in October and have been slowly but surely posting to various threads and hopefully making friends on the forum.  I had received several "helpful" votes on a couple of my posts to the threads on Migraine and on Sleep problems and had a couple of interactions with other members - Audrey Hepburn was one - which I felt were very positive. Then I had to go into hospital for an operation at the beginning of last week. So I wasn't able to post all week.  I got home yesterday and today tried to sign in. I found I could no longer access my account as Damante. As my head is still a bit all over the place after my operation,  I thought perhaps I had made a silly mistake and used the wrong email address to try to log in. And when I put in my other address, I was recognised - and I realised that, quite by mistake, I had accidentally set up two accounts while trying to register. I had never used this account until today, I had no idea it even existed.  It was only by coming on to the site using this other account that I could see that my whole presence on the site as Damante seems to have been wiped off while I was away in hospital.  And I have now read the warnings to members who do not post.  But I was posting. I had got up to around 15 posts and the ones I had offered were, I felt, mostly heartfelt and positive.  So I wasn't posting lots of short ones but the ones I did post were thoughtful and really totally sincere and from the heart.  I cannot describe how upset this has left me feeling. I feel rejected, as if what I had to offer just wasn't good enough.  Honestly, is this really the impression you want people to have here?  I fear that this account may now get deleted and I will never know what has happened to me further to this. Very sad indeed.

http://ioplist.org/announcements.php?aid=4 

Read this before posting any further or before blaming anyone.

I'm not trying to blame anyone and I am sorry I didn't make the numbers of posts that I should have.  But the posts I did make came from my heart and were positive and helpful. Had I realised the count was so strict, I could have posted nonsense and fluff every day but I hope that what I posted was genuine and thoughtful. I am very sad that this has happened. That is all I am saying.

We do realize you are here to make posts, But we want members to actively post here. Even 1 Post per 45 days saves your account. But that has to be in the On Topic Area. Not the Off Topic Area.
What is the off topic area?  Are things like migraine, sleep disorder and anxiety, which are in IOP General Discussion, as I remember it, off topic? I posted mostly in those and also in TTM2U which I guess is definitely on topic.  I am really confused now both about the topics and, when you say "even 1 post per 45 days saves your account".  I was a newbie and I think, rather than one post in 45 days, you want me to post more than once a day to be able to stick around on the site - which for me, given that I was posting at length and from my heart, would be a very high total to chase. I would have ended up posting nonsense just to get my post count up and surely that isn't something to encourage?  Anyway, this has been an impossibly hard week, I was in hospital getting a double mastectomy all week and posting wasn't something I could even do, not even the one, let alone one a day!  I honestly felt I had found a home and a family here and it has distressed me no end that I didn't manage to meet the posting levels. Sorry for that.
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#6
all the posts in the areas u mentioned, all but for Welcome thread and the Lounge, will gain u posts.

I am very sorry about the surgery.

But, your attitude can really help u heal.

I remember u, Damante.

I shall give u 15 posts.   Give me a minute or two.  This is because I believe u.

Now,don't all be telling me stories.  We had put this rule into effect a tad bit later.

Consider it your early Christmas Gift.

Welcome again, roses5555. we have another roseS here.

Precious, if I thought it were the post count making u upset, we would work differently. But, u must have had a horribly scary surgery.

We have good people here whom will understand your plight and your progress. Good people whom pray.

This is curable.

Do you feel better now that your family will stay by you?
Angel  It is Well with My Soul  Angel


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#7
(admin of steel won't kill me cuz he knows this is what family does. it rings very true. she needs us now. and, because both admin and i won't fall for something like this again. Not again. It is just an honorable act which means so much to rose5. )
Angel  It is Well with My Soul  Angel


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#8
I am glad to see there is the human side of rules too, and I also understand that it is not unlimited or to be taken advantage of.

A member in need and maybe is what it takes to be forever grateful and a good part of what happens here. A chance is a good thing.

I am just glad to see a second chance. I have been grateful for that at times and I always try to do right by them. I hope it is that way here.

Rose5555 please use this second chance to make it right and do what Charon asks. Show her it mattered to you. 
I know you can by the posts in this thread.

I hope so for you.
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#9
(11-29-2015, 02:40 AM)Linville Wrote: I am glad to see there is the human side of rules too, and I also understand that it is not unlimited or to be taken advantage of.

A member in need and maybe is what it takes to be forever grateful and a good part of what happens here. A chance is a good thing.

I am just glad to see a second chance. I have been grateful for that at times and I always try to do right by them. I hope it is that way here.

Rose5555 please use this second chance to make it right and do what Charon asks. Show her it mattered to you. 
I know you can by the posts in this thread.

I hope so for you.

Thank you so much Charon for your kindness. I went to bed crying last night. And I couldn't sleep for ages so I feel exhausted this morning. You're right, some of what had upset me was due to what has happened to me. It has been a really rough time as you might imagine and on top of it all, things are not easy in my life in general. I am indeed happy to be home with my sons. That's what counts in the end.  I am very grateful for your kind act and to be honest, I did not expect it in the least, and it came as a lovely surprise this morning.  I wouldn't abuse an act of kindness ever, it is that simple. 
So I will try to get the required posts done but I really was trying to be sincere, thoughtful and kind in everything I wrote, rather than just put random posts on to make up the count.  I had contributed at length in sections that really touched my own life - migraine, sleep and anxiety being the key ones - and also sent messages of support to other members who wrote about their own difficulties.  I was trying to achieve quality in everything I offered while staying true to who I am. I would genuinely hope that this is what you would want of your members rather than a simple quantity of posts.  Anyone can achieve 50 posts in 45 days if what they write has little value but I suspect it is a lot harder when a lot of what you write comes laden with feelings and is painful to share. There are still things I haven't shared, like the cancer, because I just cannot write about them yet.  I cannot write about anxiety or sleep disorder without feeling sad for the person I was when I was suffering from them, especially as I still have anxiety problems and migraine today. So this is why I find myself a bit conflicted this morning as I do still feel that my previous offerings were just not good enough for this site as they were, even though they were personal and emotional. That does really hurt me.  And it did occur to me that perhaps it might be a good idea when you are pruning members who haven't made the total if, before doing so, you read the posts themselves and see what they have brought to the site. My posts would have displayed most of what you needed to know about who I am and there should have been no suspicion that I was a "spy". And I was proud of the number of "helpful" votes I had gathered for what I had written because they told me that someone, somewhere, had found something in what I offered which might be of use to them, which is one of the main reasons I am here. Now given everything that has happened, I do not know when I will be able to find the strength to write them again. Anyway, this is just an idea and I hope it won't be taken badly, especially given the generosity shown to me here.  It is written from the heart, as I say. 
Anyway, I am going to stop here. I remain deeply grateful, and yet again, for the third time, to Charon.  It is lovely to have you in my family.  Heart And thank you, Linville, for your kind words too. I am happy to have my family back.
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#10
(11-29-2015, 08:27 AM)Rose5555 Wrote:
(11-29-2015, 02:40 AM)Linville Wrote: I am glad to see there is the human side of rules too, and I also understand that it is not unlimited or to be taken advantage of.

A member in need and maybe is what it takes to be forever grateful and a good part of what happens here. A chance is a good thing.

I am just glad to see a second chance. I have been grateful for that at times and I always try to do right by them. I hope it is that way here.

Rose5555 please use this second chance to make it right and do what Charon asks. Show her it mattered to you. 
I know you can by the posts in this thread.

I hope so for you.

Thank you so much Charon for your kindness. I went to bed crying last night. And I couldn't sleep for ages so I feel exhausted this morning. You're right, some of what had upset me was due to what has happened to me. It has been a really rough time as you might imagine and on top of it all, things are not easy in my life in general. I am indeed happy to be home with my sons. That's what counts in the end.  I am very grateful for your kind act and to be honest, I did not expect it in the least, and it came as a lovely surprise this morning.  I wouldn't abuse an act of kindness ever, it is that simple. 
So I will try to get the required posts done but I really was trying to be sincere, thoughtful and kind in everything I wrote, rather than just put random posts on to make up the count.  I had contributed at length in sections that really touched my own life - migraine, sleep and anxiety being the key ones - and also sent messages of support to other members who wrote about their own difficulties.  I was trying to achieve quality in everything I offered while staying true to who I am. I would genuinely hope that this is what you would want of your members rather than a simple quantity of posts.  Anyone can achieve 50 posts in 45 days if what they write has little value but I suspect it is a lot harder when a lot of what you write comes laden with feelings and is painful to share. There are still things I haven't shared, like the cancer, because I just cannot write about them yet.  I cannot write about anxiety or sleep disorder without feeling sad for the person I was when I was suffering from them, especially as I still have anxiety problems and migraine today. So this is why I find myself a bit conflicted this morning as I do still feel that my previous offerings were just not good enough for this site as they were, even though they were personal and emotional. That does really hurt me.  And it did occur to me that perhaps it might be a good idea when you are pruning members who haven't made the total if, before doing so, you read the posts themselves and see what they have brought to the site. My posts would have displayed most of what you needed to know about who I am and there should have been no suspicion that I was a "spy". And I was proud of the number of "helpful" votes I had gathered for what I had written because they told me that someone, somewhere, had found something in what I offered which might be of use to them, which is one of the main reasons I am here. Now given everything that has happened, I do not know when I will be able to find the strength to write them again. Anyway, this is just an idea and I hope it won't be taken badly, especially given the generosity shown to me here.  It is written from the heart, as I say. 
Anyway, I am going to stop here. I remain deeply grateful, and yet again, for the third time, to Charon.  It is lovely to have you in my family.  Heart And thank you, Linville, for your kind words too. I am happy to have my family back.

Dear Rose, Members get automatically purged by the system if they don't post within 45 days. Whether its a Newbie or a Most Senior Member. Apologies, If that hurt any of your sentiments. We are a family here. And we will always welcome you to be a part of this family. I have been in state of shock for the last 2 days because it was at night when i talked with a friend and in the morning he was no more. He passed away in the morning. For the last 2 days i have been like a rock moderating the forum without any feeling. All my attention is towards the reality of life. We are mere puppets serving our minor role in this world. No one knows who's next. I should say all my warm wishes to you. Please get well soon. We have Charon here, Who is an ideal personality for many including me. She would hold your hand when no one is around like she held mine when i needed her the most. This forum belongs to our highly beloved Charon. I consider my self nothing more than a mere servant here. We are moving slowly though but steadily. I hope you understand that is why we take extra precautions to make sure we don't promote any member to a senior one if he/she's gonna turn rogue in the end. We had a few bad results already. You are no doubt a wonderful person. Please make tears the Water for your morning Tea and sip them up. Be strong. Love you lots. Smile Heart Heart Heart
The only way to know how strong you are is to keep testing your limits.
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