Humorous Smilies

[Popster]

I love guilty dog pictures.......they are so unabashedly open with their guilt......'
Here's another great one

   

[Popster]

An amazing 2 letter English word.

A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition.

UP


Read until the end ..... you'll laugh.


This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.


At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!

Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

U

P !

Did that one crack you UP?

Don't screw UP. . . .. or not . . . it's UP to you.

Now I'll shut UP!

[Linville]

News News News…..

Ha ha

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LOL

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Monday is over…..yay

[Linville]

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this is funny

[IceWizard]

"China may be using the sea to hide submarines?"

That's got to be one of the biggest "understatements" of all time! .. Where else would you put 'em ... Trees?

[IceWizard]

After seeing the latest polls ... Hillary has a new look::::

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What kind of store is this?

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Truth hurts::::

[Popster]

Can you hear me now?

   

[IceWizard]

Young King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and
imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
have killed him but was moved by Arthur's
youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered
him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?...What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to
poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the
wise men and even the court jester. He
spoke with everyone, but no one could give
him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old
ugly woman, for only she would have the
answer. But the price would be high; as the woman was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur
had no choice but to talk to the old woman.
She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.

The old ugly woman wanted to marry Sir
Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified.

She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her
and endure such a terrible burden; but
Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke
with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the woman answered Arthur's question thus:

'What a woman really wants', she answered....'is to be in charge of her own
life'.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the woman had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the ugly woman had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific
experience, entered the bedroom.

But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The young beauty replied that since he had
been so kind to her when she appeared ugly, she would henceforth, be her horrible
deformed self only half the time and the
beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day -- or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, a beautiful woman to show
off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy
of his castle, an old ugly woman? Or, would
he prefer having a hideous woman during
the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?


What would YOU do?


What Lancelot chose is below.

BUT --

make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.


OKAY?


Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.


Now....what is the moral to this story?



The moral is --

If you don't let a woman have her own way...


Things are going to get ugly..!

[Linville]

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[IceWizard]