Humorous Smilies

[willie33]

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[reilli]

We have a dog door and our mini-donkey stuck his head in one day lol.

[MCS1964]

MCS

[willie33]

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[Linville]

Good funnies willie

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[Popster]

Linville....that was one of Zander's signatures.


Old but still fascinating... specially the pig!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.  (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.  (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.  (O.M.G.!!!)  Is that why they are always squealing?

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.  (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.  (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can't believe that pig, quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.  (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.  (Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.  (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.  (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

[Charon]

oh, and cuz i used to enjoy grossing the other high school students out when i presented research or short stories i wrote, i did one day, right before they went to eat lunch, did a presentation on fleas.

They have two penises. That is why they multiply so quickly.

They "make love" the article stated for three hours. Sometimes, up to nine hours.

Not a humorous smiley but Pops made me do it!! He reminded me of an essay i recited cuz i wanted to gross them all out.

It worked. But i still got my A plus grade. They are termed super fleas and every few yrs they hit NY state. I no longer rescue animals. We had to sneak a company that spray bombed my house when my mother was at work.

Aren't u glad u mentioned this subject, pops? It is not like they have multiple "wives" however. And, they get to keep their head.

[Popster]

Wow...i was never allowed to keep my head...oops!

Pops made you do it....my cheap thrill for the day...LOL

[reilli]

[willie33]

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