Humorous Smilies

[Linville]

That look ….so funny

[Caróg liath]

[Popster]

great t-shirt and a cute kitty

[Caróg liath]

@Popster, the t-shirt really threw me... kitty is just plain old sweet, but for some reason I thought they complimented on another. LOL

[IceWizard]

Love is Strange Animal



Kids Do the Wildest Things


Funny.... Remotely?



If Catz Could Talk...



Now I'm no Dr. Phil.... BUT

[Popster]

Ice....those are funny

Harley.....that's so cute

[Popster]

Still a few more from that street artist......

   

   

   

   

   

[IceWizard]

Fire... I sure don't have any problem with being quoted anytime... I think there are indeed funny! ....

Drugs?

A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.

"They're not mine," I said, " I found them in
here and every time I try flushing them
down the toilet they magically appear in my pocket again."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"
he laughed.

I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me to!"

"Go on then." he smiled.

Then handed me the bag.

After flushing them, he looked at me and
said, "Well, show me your pocket then."

"What for?" I asked.

He said, "The drugs of coarse."

I said, "What drugs?"






The Preacher's Wife

Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm
sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him back in church for an hour after service for me?"

Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees.

After the service, Mike starts talking to the
minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.

Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the
minister, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you
occupied."

The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts
a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago!"


Convicts Spending Time

Three newly incarcerated convicts are
discussing how they will pass their long sentences in jail.

The first one pulls out a harmonica and says
"I can play all my favorite songs on this."

The second takes out a deck of cards. "I
can play poker with myself with these."

The third gets out a box of tampons. "Well, it
says on here that with these I can go
swimming, horseback riding, cycling, ..."


The Postman

One Monday morning Shane the postman was
riding through the neighbourhood on his
usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the
driveway.

His wonder was cut short by David, the
homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

"Wow David, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night!" the Postman commented.
David, in obvious pain, replied, "Actually we
had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 o'clock Sunday morning . We had about 15 couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk that around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'

The Postman thought for a moment and said, "How do you play WHO AM I?"

"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.."

The postman laughed and said, "Sounds
like fun, I'm sorry I missed it."


"Probably a good thing you did," David
responded, "Your name came up 7 times!!"


Campain Advertizing?

---

Dear friends, it is with the saddest heart that
I have to pass on the following:

The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a
severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.

He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The graveside was piled high with flours as
longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the
eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who
"never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but
his later life was filled with many turnovers.

He was not considered a very smart cookie,
wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough.

They have two children, and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

---

What's Your Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my
teacher was probably a member of PETA.

He said they love animals very much. I do too, especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite "live" animal was. I told her it was chicken.

She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He
laughed, and told me not to do it again. I
don't understand. My parents taught me to
be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess
where I am now?

[Linville]

[Popster]

Quality products from China.....