Humorous Smilies

[Linville]

A funny thing to read for you……I hope .


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[IceWizard]

I can relate to that Linville!

[Popster]

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[IceWizard]

It's the sign of our times ... Cell phones ...

[Linville]

[Dusko/Medicaval]

The baby is waking up to your favorite song

[IceWizard]

New Doctor in Town...

A young doctor moved out to a small
community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the
young one accompany him on his rounds,
so the community could become used to a
new doctor.

At the first house, a woman complains, "I've
been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor says, "Well , you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How did you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my
stethoscope on the floor in there? When I
bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen
banana peels in the trash. That was what
probably was making her sick."

The younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She explained that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left , the elder doctor said, "I know
that woman well. Your diagnosis is most
certainly correct, she's very active in the
church, but how did you arrive at it?"

"I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the pastor under the bed."

[Linville]

Hah hah hahahhah

Good one .....

Well let me clarify myself, several,are good ones...the baby waking up and getting down with the song right away is so funny too.

[Zander]

Some of you may have seen this. I posted it on a couple of threads somewhere... I just don't remember what threads... Now that I think about it, I don't remember what site(s)......Oh well, this seems like the right thread for it... To the ones that have seen me post it before, excuuuuuuuuse me!

̿’ ̿’\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿


MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU"

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital
Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done ....Your turn

[IceWizard]

Zander ... I didn't see that one yet, but it hilarious!! ... I can relate to a few those options myself ...