Days when it is difficult to move? lazy? or depressed?

[Furyan66]

yellowdog

Having one of these days today. Just cannot find the will to get going. Still have a few sick days and vacation left and gonna use one today and just chill.

Doctor before put me through gauntlet of anti depressants but honestly made me feel worse making me feel suicidal. Don't need that so I will not touch anti depressant again. Right now just cannot find the will to get out of bed and have NO motivation to do anything.

The issue has gotten worse since I have recently found out that I will be loosing my job March 2018 and a close uncle passed away several months ago.

Gotta figure out how to get things under control again. Wilt this PTSD and more problems just seem to keep popping up and cannot seem t get these racing thoughts out of my head. Hell even when I sleep I do sleep my mind does not. I have been told these are "racing thoughts". My little tracker on my arm is telling me I average between 3 and 5 hours sleep a night which is not good.

Gonna try and chill today and maybe just sleep...

Peace All

   I hope your day gets better.
I am taking things in small steps, I managed to make breakfast shower, wash hair, teeth and do some tidying and go to the shops.   That just sounds like a typical everyday stuff but I force myself as I worry I may decline.
so Today has been productive for me.

I too have been dx with PTSD but have no support for it.

were you close to your uncle?
is your depression of the manic kind? (
anyhow I hope it goes better for you.
Hey YD,

I was close to my uncle. In fact we were friends for 15 years before he married my Aunt so I knew him longer that anyone in the family. Not a better guy and yea his passing hit me hard.

As far as my PTSD I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2011 but started back in 2000.
2000 has not been a kind century to me.
I was married about 6 years and we had a 2 year old daughter.
We ended up in divorce and my ex wife moved my daughter 350 miles away. "same state just opposite end" so courts could not put a stop to her moving her so far away.

I did the stupidest thing after that and got back together with an ex girlfriend before I got married and knew it was wrong but it was a rebound that just led to another divorce that lasted 7 years, A NASTY divorce. I finally had a "neurological event" leading to seizures and I spent 10 days in the hospital with only bits and pieces of memory and 3 months off work after I was released I still have just bits and pieces of memory.

Example: Spent 2 weeks visitation with my daughter and don't remember it

Anyway to sum it up I think I just cracked when my daughter was moved so far away from me and I realized I would never be a full time father to my daughter plus both divorces but the pain always comes back to my 2 year old daughter being taken away from me when I was given no choice. It all comes back to that and I can never regain all the time I missed seeing her grow up.

Peace All