Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Once, I crashed in a hot air balloon! ..
I felt let down. ..

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My first wife worked at a milk bottling company. ..
When she got home, I could smell that dairy air.

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What is E.T short for?
Because he's got little legs!

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I caught my first wife in bed with my best friend!
She was caressing him and he was licking her!

I did what any red-blooded man would do.
I rolled up a newspaper, swatted him on the head with it and yelled:
"Bad dog! BAD dog!"

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ED is curable with diet and exercise
Hard part is to tell your wife to diet and exercise

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I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money
that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed
the Third World for one year. 
I'm not sure about you,
but I think we're being overcharged on groceries.

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I don’t mean to boast, but I know Karate, Judo, Aikido …
And several other Japanese words.