Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

And so it goes

My goal for 2022 was to lose just 10 pounds.
Only 15 to go.

Ate salad for dinner!
Mostly croutons & tomatoes.
Really just one big, round crouton
covered with tomato sauce.
And cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza.
I ate a pizza.

How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

I just did a week's worth of cardio
after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag but......
I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found that women who carry
a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it.
When I was young,
I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet
to change the TV channel.

Remember back when we were kids
and every time it was below zero out they closed school?
Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or
good looking or smart or talented....
Okay ... I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 75.
I learn something new every day.......
and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night......
He started searching for money
so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown.
I was like: I KNOW! Right?

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order"
sticker on my forehead and call it a day.