09-16-2022, 08:23 PM
A man walks into a bar
He puts an iguana and a frog on the bar and orders a pint.
The barman spots this and says,
"Oi, what are you doing bringing them in here?!?"
The man takes a sip of his pint and says to the barman,
"I bet you $100 I can make the frog sing"
The barman says,
"Ok, your on!"
Next thing the frog pats its feet and starts singing
"Rain drops are falling on my head"
The barman, amazed, says,
"Ok fair play"
and hands the man $100.
Another man at the end of the bar
stands up and offeres the man $1000 for the frog,
the man agrees and he leaves with the frog.
The barman says to the man, "What is wrong with you!?
You could have made a fortune with that frog?!?"
The man takes another sip of his beer and says,
"Nah, I found the frog on the path on the way here,
the iguana is a ventriloquist"
*****
Social Experiment
Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment
to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise
deserted island.
They decided on one man from France, one from Germany,
and one from Japan.
The German was told he is in charge of shelter,
the Frenchman was put in charge of meals,
and the Japanese was told he was in charge of supplies.
The three were left alone on the island for 6 months.
When the researchers returned, the German greeted them
and showed the around the visa he had built which included
electricity, hot and cold running water, and a sauna among other amenities.
When it was time for dinner,
the Frenchman served a scrumptious 8 course meal using all
native plants and animals he had discovered on the island.
The dinner was paired with several wines which had also
been vinted from native plants.
After dinner, the researchers realized they had yet to see
the Japanese guy. The German told them that immediately
after arrival on the island, he had taken off into the jungle.
Worried about his fate, a rescue party was immediately formed
and the set off to look for him.
About 200 meters down the path into the interior of the island,
the Japanese guy leapt from a tree and yelled.
"SUPPLIES!"
******
A 16 Year Old Boy Arrives Home
With his new driving license, and says to his father:
"Dad, I bought a brand new Bentley."
"What? Those cars are worth >$200.000
and you don't have a buck."
"Yes sir, look at it parked there and it cost me $50."
The father looks out of the window and
sees a brand new Bentley Mulsanne.
"Son, what have you done?
You stole it!!!!"
The father grabs the boy by the ear and
takes him to the house where he says he bought it,
a big house where an old lady is having a cup of tea in her garden.
"Excuse me, ma'am,"
says the father,
"Is it true that you sold this great car to my son for $50?
"Yes, indeed."
she answers very calmly.
"But that can't be true,
this car is worth much more than $50!!"
She said,
Well, my husband went on a work trip to Switzerland a month ago,
but it turns out that he was cheating on me with his secretary
and he will stay there never to return.
He took everything but this car, the Bentley,
and yesterday he called me saying that his secretary had
stolen everything and he ran out of money.
He wanted me to sell the car urgently and send him the money.....
And that's exactly what I did!"
******
His Wife Disappeared in a Kayaking Accident
The Anchorage man answered his door to find two
grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens,
but we have some information about your wife,"
said one trooper...
"Tell me! Did you find her?"
Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other.
One said,
"We have some bad news,
some good news, and some really great news.
Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said,
"Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said,
"I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning
we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens.
Swallowing hard, he asked,
"What's the good news?"
The trooper continued,
"When we pulled her up,
she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs
and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs
clinging to her and we feel you are
entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded,
"If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said,
"We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
He puts an iguana and a frog on the bar and orders a pint.
The barman spots this and says,
"Oi, what are you doing bringing them in here?!?"
The man takes a sip of his pint and says to the barman,
"I bet you $100 I can make the frog sing"
The barman says,
"Ok, your on!"
Next thing the frog pats its feet and starts singing
"Rain drops are falling on my head"
The barman, amazed, says,
"Ok fair play"
and hands the man $100.
Another man at the end of the bar
stands up and offeres the man $1000 for the frog,
the man agrees and he leaves with the frog.
The barman says to the man, "What is wrong with you!?
You could have made a fortune with that frog?!?"
The man takes another sip of his beer and says,
"Nah, I found the frog on the path on the way here,
the iguana is a ventriloquist"
*****
Social Experiment
Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment
to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise
deserted island.
They decided on one man from France, one from Germany,
and one from Japan.
The German was told he is in charge of shelter,
the Frenchman was put in charge of meals,
and the Japanese was told he was in charge of supplies.
The three were left alone on the island for 6 months.
When the researchers returned, the German greeted them
and showed the around the visa he had built which included
electricity, hot and cold running water, and a sauna among other amenities.
When it was time for dinner,
the Frenchman served a scrumptious 8 course meal using all
native plants and animals he had discovered on the island.
The dinner was paired with several wines which had also
been vinted from native plants.
After dinner, the researchers realized they had yet to see
the Japanese guy. The German told them that immediately
after arrival on the island, he had taken off into the jungle.
Worried about his fate, a rescue party was immediately formed
and the set off to look for him.
About 200 meters down the path into the interior of the island,
the Japanese guy leapt from a tree and yelled.
"SUPPLIES!"
******
A 16 Year Old Boy Arrives Home
With his new driving license, and says to his father:
"Dad, I bought a brand new Bentley."
"What? Those cars are worth >$200.000
and you don't have a buck."
"Yes sir, look at it parked there and it cost me $50."
The father looks out of the window and
sees a brand new Bentley Mulsanne.
"Son, what have you done?
You stole it!!!!"
The father grabs the boy by the ear and
takes him to the house where he says he bought it,
a big house where an old lady is having a cup of tea in her garden.
"Excuse me, ma'am,"
says the father,
"Is it true that you sold this great car to my son for $50?
"Yes, indeed."
she answers very calmly.
"But that can't be true,
this car is worth much more than $50!!"
She said,
Well, my husband went on a work trip to Switzerland a month ago,
but it turns out that he was cheating on me with his secretary
and he will stay there never to return.
He took everything but this car, the Bentley,
and yesterday he called me saying that his secretary had
stolen everything and he ran out of money.
He wanted me to sell the car urgently and send him the money.....
And that's exactly what I did!"
******
His Wife Disappeared in a Kayaking Accident
The Anchorage man answered his door to find two
grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens,
but we have some information about your wife,"
said one trooper...
"Tell me! Did you find her?"
Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other.
One said,
"We have some bad news,
some good news, and some really great news.
Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said,
"Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said,
"I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning
we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens.
Swallowing hard, he asked,
"What's the good news?"
The trooper continued,
"When we pulled her up,
she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs
and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs
clinging to her and we feel you are
entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded,
"If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said,
"We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit