Little Johnny was doing his math homework.
He says out loud,
"One plus six, that son of a bi!ch is seven.
Four plus four, that son of a bi!ch is eight."
His mom overhears this and is shocked!
she says to him,
"What are you doing Johnny?"
Johnny replies,
"I am just doing my math homework."
"And is this is how your teacher taught you to do it?"
the mother asks.
"Yes," Johnny replies.
The mother is now angry and immediately phones
Johnny's teacher,
"What on earth are you teaching my son in class?"
she asks.
The teacher replies,
"Right now, we are learning mathematical addition."
The mother asks,
"And are you teaching them to say one plus six,
that son of a bi!ch is seven?"
After the teacher stopped laughing hysterically,
she answers,
"What I taught them to say was,
one plus six, the sum of which is seven."
*****
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning.
Sally was sleeping in front of Johnny.
The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was.
Little Johnny pokes her in the arse
with a pin and she yells,
"Jesus Christ!"
And falls back to sleep.
A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world.
Johnny poked her in the arse again with a pin and she screams
"my God!"
And falls back to sleep.
Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to
Adam after they had their fourth child.
Johnny pokes her in the arse with the pin again
and Sally screams,
"If you stick that thing in me one more time
I'm gonna break it in half !"
The teacher faints.
*****
To start a zoo, you need at least
two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.
That's the bear minimum.
*****
A Polish man goes to the USA for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows an eye chart that reads:
CZWXNQSTAZKY.
The Doctor asks,
"Can you read this?"
The Polish man replies,
"Not only can I read it.
I even know the guy,
he’s my cousin."
He says out loud,
"One plus six, that son of a bi!ch is seven.
Four plus four, that son of a bi!ch is eight."
His mom overhears this and is shocked!
she says to him,
"What are you doing Johnny?"
Johnny replies,
"I am just doing my math homework."
"And is this is how your teacher taught you to do it?"
the mother asks.
"Yes," Johnny replies.
The mother is now angry and immediately phones
Johnny's teacher,
"What on earth are you teaching my son in class?"
she asks.
The teacher replies,
"Right now, we are learning mathematical addition."
The mother asks,
"And are you teaching them to say one plus six,
that son of a bi!ch is seven?"
After the teacher stopped laughing hysterically,
she answers,
"What I taught them to say was,
one plus six, the sum of which is seven."
*****
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning.
Sally was sleeping in front of Johnny.
The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was.
Little Johnny pokes her in the arse
with a pin and she yells,
"Jesus Christ!"
And falls back to sleep.
A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world.
Johnny poked her in the arse again with a pin and she screams
"my God!"
And falls back to sleep.
Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to
Adam after they had their fourth child.
Johnny pokes her in the arse with the pin again
and Sally screams,
"If you stick that thing in me one more time
I'm gonna break it in half !"
The teacher faints.
*****
To start a zoo, you need at least
two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.
That's the bear minimum.
*****
A Polish man goes to the USA for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows an eye chart that reads:
CZWXNQSTAZKY.
The Doctor asks,
"Can you read this?"
The Polish man replies,
"Not only can I read it.
I even know the guy,
he’s my cousin."
Who's the Daddy ... Lmfao
The following are all replies that Manchester women have written
on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing
"father's details;" or putting it another way....
Who's the Daddy?
These are genuine excerpts from the forms.
Be sure to checkout #10.
It takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,
Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am
unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but
I believe that she was conceived on the same night. k
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my
child as I was being sick out of a window when taken
unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list
of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little
girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue
where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do
remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you
do manage to track down the father,
can you please send me his phone number? Thanks .
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my
daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my
stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW
service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced .
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a
Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate
and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he
informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that
would have cataclysmic implications for the economy.
I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country .
Please advise...
7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do
catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my
AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time....
well, I don't have clue.
8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was
conceived at Euro-Disney World;
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing
that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a
programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had
stayed in and watched more TV rather than going
to the party at 56 Miller St ,
mine might have remained unfertilized .
10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you
can't be sure which one made you fart.
The following are all replies that Manchester women have written
on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing
"father's details;" or putting it another way....
Who's the Daddy?
These are genuine excerpts from the forms.
Be sure to checkout #10.
It takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,
Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am
unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but
I believe that she was conceived on the same night. k
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my
child as I was being sick out of a window when taken
unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list
of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little
girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue
where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do
remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you
do manage to track down the father,
can you please send me his phone number? Thanks .
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my
daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my
stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW
service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced .
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a
Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate
and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he
informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that
would have cataclysmic implications for the economy.
I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country .
Please advise...
7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do
catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my
AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time....
well, I don't have clue.
8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was
conceived at Euro-Disney World;
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing
that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a
programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had
stayed in and watched more TV rather than going
to the party at 56 Miller St ,
mine might have remained unfertilized .
10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you
can't be sure which one made you fart.
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit