Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

After a terrible shipwreck, a man found himself alone on an island.
He went about the island in search of food and shelter.

After a long walk, the man froze in terror as he saw a
tribe of cannibals in the middle of a celebration.

The man thought to himself,
"I am so screwed!"

To his surprise, a bright light came from
the heavens and a deep voice said to him
"Not yet my son, listen very carefully:
what you have to do is run up to the chief of the tribe,
kick him in the nuts,
and take his spear.
As soon as you take his spear,
kill his only son with it."

Without thinking twice, the man does as he was told.
As he put the spear through the young
cannibal's heart the bright light appeared again and
the deep voice said to him,

"Okay, now you are screwed."



******


Anatomy Lesson Gone Wrong

One day at an all-girl school,
an elderly anatomy teacher was reviewing
with his students for a test.

He turns to one student and says,
"Karen, what part of the body can grow up to
six times its size, and
under what conditions does this occur?"

Karen, aghast, starts screaming,
"How dare you ask me that, you old perv!
That is completely inappropriate, you should be
ashamed of yourself! I'm going to the dean
about this, your job is toast!"
and on and on.

When she finally finishes her rant,
the teacher, unfazed, turns to another student and says
"Katherine, same question."

"The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Very good Katherine, thank you."

He turns back to the first student and says
"Karen, there are three things I learned
from your little outburst,

One, you clearly haven't been studying the material,

Two, you have a very dirty mind,

"And three, someday you're going
to be VERY disappointed."