Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Johnny wanted to buy a motorcycle.

He doesn't have much luck, until one day,
he comes across a Harley with a FOR SALE sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one,
although it is 10 years old.

It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he
kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple really," says the seller,
"Whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain,
rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain."

And he hands Johnny a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Mary, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house,
Mary stops him and says,
"I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."
"When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
In fact, the first person who says anything during
dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says..

And in they go.

Johnny is shocked.
Right smack in the middle of the
living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor,
everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough,
no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Johnny decides to take
advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Mary.
No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off,
throws her on the table and diddles her,
right there in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered,
her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified
when he sits back down,
but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom.

"She's got a great body," Johnny thinks.

So he grabs the mom,
bends her over the dinner table,
pulls down her panties,
and diddles her every which way but loose
right there on the dinner table.

After she let out a huge sigh,
he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling,
the Mom is pleasantly beaming.

But still.... Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder,
and it starts to rain.

Johnny remembers his bike,
so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father shouts,

"ALRIGHT!! I'll do the danged dishes”.