08-03-2021, 04:53 PM
One day, Joe Biden dies and ends up standing in front of the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter looks at him for a second and starts flicking through his book
where he finds hi name.
"So", says St. Peter,
"You're a politician?"
"Yes" ,says Joe,
"Is that a problem?"
"Oh no, no problem", says St Peter, "But we have recently adopted a new system
for people in your line of work, unfortunately, you will have to spend one day in hell.
After that however, you will be free to choose where you would like to spend eternity."
"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?",
asked Joe Biden.
"That's the rules." said St. Peter.
He snaps his fingers and POOOF, Joe disappears.
Joe awakens, all curled up and his hands are over his eyes
cause he knows that he is in Hell.
Cautiously he listens for the screams... He sniffs the air, expecting to smell the brimstone
and sulfur and finds ....Nothing!
Is that the smell of fabric softener? and cut grass? This can't be right?!
"Open your eyes." says a voice,
"C'mon, Wakey, wakey, we only have 24 hours!"
Nervously, Joe uncovers his eyes, looks around and sees that he
is in a hotel room. Wait, this is a penthouse suite! There's a smiling man
dressed in a suit, holding a martini!
"Who are you?" asked Joe
"Well, I'm Satan." says the man, as he hands him the drink and
helps him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell."
"Wait." says Joe, "BUt...But.. Where's all the pain and suffering?"
Satan gives him a wink and says, "We've been so mis-represented
over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room and of coarse the mini bar
is free as is the room service, there are extra towels by the hot tub and
if you need anything, anything at all, just call the receptionist. But enough of this,
it's a beautiful day and if you care to look outside..."
Stunned by the magnificent surroundings, Joe staggers over to the
floor to ceiling windows, through which the sun is glowing through,
looks far down, sees a large group of people cheering and waving
at him from a golf coarse.
"That's one of five pro-level courses on site and there's another
6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbor!", says Satan
answering his unanswered question.
So they headed down the elevator, walk through a glittering lobby
where everybody waves and welcomes Joe, as Satan signs autographs
and cheeringly talks shop with the laughing staff.
As Joe walks out, he sees the group on the golf coarse is made up of
every one of his old friends! Right out of the middle of this group,
walks his wife, with a big smile and the body she had when she was 20!!
She throws her arm around him and gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek.
As everyone was falling about and throwing breadsticks at each other,
his wife wispers in his ear and off to the penthouse suite they went
where they spent the rest of the night making love as they did on their
honeymoon.
After 6 hours of hot and steamy romps, Joe fell fast asleep on his
100% Egyptian cotton pillows.
He is awaken by St. Peter that said,
"So that was Hell, wasn't quite what you were expecting I'll bet."
"NO SIR!". said Joe
"So then", says St. Peter "You can make your choice, it's Hell like you saw OR
Heaven which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on..."
"Well, I know this sounds strange and unbalanced," says Joe
"But I think that I would prefer Hell."
"Not a problem, we understand. Enjoy" says St. Peter. and again he
snaps his fingers.
Joe wakes up in total darkness and the stench of ammonia filling the air
and distance screams was all he could hear. As he adjusts, he sees that the only
light is from belches of fire coming from a pit and the silhouettes of raggedy
people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean.
A sudden bolt of lightening revels Satan standing next to him, wearing the
same suit as before, grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and
a coil of razor wire in the other.
"What's this?" screams Biden, "Where's the hotel? Where's my wife?
Where's the mini bar, the golf courses, the pool, the restaurants,
the free drinks and sunshine?!"
"Ah.." says Satan "You see, yesterday we were campaigning,
But today, you voted!"
St. Peter looks at him for a second and starts flicking through his book
where he finds hi name.
"So", says St. Peter,
"You're a politician?"
"Yes" ,says Joe,
"Is that a problem?"
"Oh no, no problem", says St Peter, "But we have recently adopted a new system
for people in your line of work, unfortunately, you will have to spend one day in hell.
After that however, you will be free to choose where you would like to spend eternity."
"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?",
asked Joe Biden.
"That's the rules." said St. Peter.
He snaps his fingers and POOOF, Joe disappears.
Joe awakens, all curled up and his hands are over his eyes
cause he knows that he is in Hell.
Cautiously he listens for the screams... He sniffs the air, expecting to smell the brimstone
and sulfur and finds ....Nothing!
Is that the smell of fabric softener? and cut grass? This can't be right?!
"Open your eyes." says a voice,
"C'mon, Wakey, wakey, we only have 24 hours!"
Nervously, Joe uncovers his eyes, looks around and sees that he
is in a hotel room. Wait, this is a penthouse suite! There's a smiling man
dressed in a suit, holding a martini!
"Who are you?" asked Joe
"Well, I'm Satan." says the man, as he hands him the drink and
helps him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell."
"Wait." says Joe, "BUt...But.. Where's all the pain and suffering?"
Satan gives him a wink and says, "We've been so mis-represented
over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room and of coarse the mini bar
is free as is the room service, there are extra towels by the hot tub and
if you need anything, anything at all, just call the receptionist. But enough of this,
it's a beautiful day and if you care to look outside..."
Stunned by the magnificent surroundings, Joe staggers over to the
floor to ceiling windows, through which the sun is glowing through,
looks far down, sees a large group of people cheering and waving
at him from a golf coarse.
"That's one of five pro-level courses on site and there's another
6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbor!", says Satan
answering his unanswered question.
So they headed down the elevator, walk through a glittering lobby
where everybody waves and welcomes Joe, as Satan signs autographs
and cheeringly talks shop with the laughing staff.
As Joe walks out, he sees the group on the golf coarse is made up of
every one of his old friends! Right out of the middle of this group,
walks his wife, with a big smile and the body she had when she was 20!!
She throws her arm around him and gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek.
As everyone was falling about and throwing breadsticks at each other,
his wife wispers in his ear and off to the penthouse suite they went
where they spent the rest of the night making love as they did on their
honeymoon.
After 6 hours of hot and steamy romps, Joe fell fast asleep on his
100% Egyptian cotton pillows.
He is awaken by St. Peter that said,
"So that was Hell, wasn't quite what you were expecting I'll bet."
"NO SIR!". said Joe
"So then", says St. Peter "You can make your choice, it's Hell like you saw OR
Heaven which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on..."
"Well, I know this sounds strange and unbalanced," says Joe
"But I think that I would prefer Hell."
"Not a problem, we understand. Enjoy" says St. Peter. and again he
snaps his fingers.
Joe wakes up in total darkness and the stench of ammonia filling the air
and distance screams was all he could hear. As he adjusts, he sees that the only
light is from belches of fire coming from a pit and the silhouettes of raggedy
people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean.
A sudden bolt of lightening revels Satan standing next to him, wearing the
same suit as before, grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and
a coil of razor wire in the other.
"What's this?" screams Biden, "Where's the hotel? Where's my wife?
Where's the mini bar, the golf courses, the pool, the restaurants,
the free drinks and sunshine?!"
"Ah.." says Satan "You see, yesterday we were campaigning,
But today, you voted!"
Semper Fidelis
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit