Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

I am STILL crackin up... Thank you so much

The New Texas Priest

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in
a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions,
so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the
old priest asks him to step out of the confessional
for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests,
"Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your
chin with one hand and try saying things like
'yes, I see,' and 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin
with one hand and repeats all the suggested
remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says,
"Now, don't you think that's a little better
than slapping your knee and saying,
"No kidding, what happened next?"



*********


Might As Well Go Fishing


A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big
"everything under one roof" stores looking for a job.

The manager asked,
"Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said,
"Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and
see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down
to see how things went.

"How many sales did you make today?"

The young man replied without hesitating, "One."

The boss said,
"Just one? Our sales people average
20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale for?"

The kid said,
"$101,237.64."

The boss said,
"$101,237.64?!
What the hell did you sell?!"

The kid said,
"First I sold him a small fish hook.

Then I sold him a medium fish hook.

Then I sold him a larger fish hook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and
he said down at the coast,
so I told him he was gonna need a boat,

so we went down to the boat department and
I sold him that twin-engine Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it,

so I took him down to the automotive department and
sold him that 4x4 Blazer."

Amazed, the boss said,
"A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold
him a boat and a truck?"

"No sir, he came here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and
I said,
''Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"