Humorous Smilies

[willie33]

HE MESSED WITH THE WRONG LADY









ROCKIN' SNOWMAN

[IceWizard]

:rolf:


Thingz I've Learned About AirPlanes

01. Every take-off is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

02. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

03. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

04. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

05. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

06. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

07. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

08. A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

09. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. (Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.)

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground and it's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgement.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.

And finally...

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

---

What "PlayPens" are Actually For!


Men have finally figured out what playpens are for.

They exist to keep their annoying children away when theyre playing computer games. If you dont believe us look at this photo posted by argyllcampbell on reddit.

I could never game because of my toddler son so I finally bought a playpen, he wrote. Thats definitely one way of utilising the structures and reddit user

Sythus was also a big fan. He wrote: This I need this. I have twins, they love turning my chair and attempting to crawl into my lap.

One will sit there and watch, the other wants to touch everything.


The ole Chinese "Sandwich" Trick




Church Mice



That Derned Dog!



Something for the Both of Us




The Search



Canada's Swim Team



Those Were the Days



Birds... Don't You Just Love 'em



Crossing the Road

James Bond is furtively crossing the road in downtown London.

He meets a chicken also crossing the road, about half way.

The chicken says to him: "You look familiar - I think I know you. What's your name?"

Bond replies as he adjusts his tie and reaches for his beretta, "Bond....." {{dramatic pause}} "James Bond".

Then Bond says, "And who may you be?"

The chicken clears his throat and says. "Ken." {{dramatic pause}}

"Chick Ken".

Grown Dogs... What You Gonna Do



Oh That Little Johnny

Little Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher.

Teacher: "Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?"

Johnny: "I'm sorry Miss, but my Grandpa got burnt yesterday."

Teacher: "Was he burned very bad?"

Johnny: "Yes Ma'am, they don't mess around at these crematoriums you know!"

[willie33]

MAKING THE DAY MORE INTERESTING




SNEAK ATTACK




GRUMPY CAT GETS WASTED

[Popster]

how NOT to do a few thingsLOL

   

   

   

[willie33]

SNIFFER DOG GOES ON STRIKE

[Popster]

A few more things NOT to do.........

   

   

   

[IceWizard]

Pops... You know I think some folks would actually DO those things.... Geeeze...

Those are great!

Ice

[willie33]

ANIMAL TEAMWORK



SILICON HUMPS

[Popster]

...................Makes one wonder..........

   

[willie33]

MAY WANT TO CHANGE THE SIGN









CAN'T CATCH ME NOW